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Step 1
Separate Rooms ~ We all have romantic notions of night-time bonding with our cozy little babies. Unfortunately, the reality of co-sleeping or even sharing a room is less dreamy. Sharing sleep space with your child can drive you insane. New mothers spend a lot of time worrying that their child will stop breathing. This is a legitimate fear. Obsessing about it, however, will drive you insane. When babies sleep, they make strange noises, sometimes they seem to stop breathing. It will be hard to sleep when your child's normal, healthy sleep noises are sending you into a panic. Put some distance between yourself and your child for the sake of sleep. If your concern is overwhelming, invest in a sleep monitor. Additional complications of co-sleeping include child dependency and damage to parental intimacy. It sounds great, but in reality, separate rooms will do you both a world of good.
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Step 2
Take Turns ~ Before your baby even arrives, you and your partner need to agree that you will take turns getting up in the night. Even healthy, happy babies need to be fed several times throughout an evening. It's impossible to get restful sleep when you are awake every two hours. Even if you are a stay-home mom and your partner works, sharing night time responsibilities will save your sanity and your relationship. It's also FAIR.
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Step 3
Falling Asleep ~ It's a very precious moment when your baby falls asleep in your arms at night. However, it's a bad idea. Your baby needs to use their natural skill of falling asleep independently or you will struggle to reteach them when they are older. Also, when a baby falls asleep in one location, surrounded by caregivers, but wakes up alone in another location, they panic. They are disoriented. Their environment, even if it is a familiar one, has changed. Babies wake up often throughout the night and can often go back to sleep without any parental intervention. However, if their environment has changed without warning, they often become frightened and will need reassurance.
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Step 4
Day Feedings ~ Day feedings won't eliminate the need for night feedings, but they can dramatically reduce the need. The more nutrition your child gets during the day, the less they will require at night. Feed your baby often during the day, even when they are not crying for food. Remember, however, that night feedings are healthy and regular night waking (every few hours) will help protect your baby from dangerously deep sleep.
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Step 5
TREAT COLIC!!! ~ This cannot be overstated. If your infant has colic, there is a reason. Talk to their pediatrician about treatment. Colic is syndrome defined by a group of symptoms. It is not a disease. Those who believe it is a growing phase or incurable are wrong. Many causes of colic are treatable. More importantly, some causes, if not treated, can have long term health consequences for your child. Colic cause by GERD, for example, is very treatable. Change in diet or medicine can spare your child needless suffering. It is believed by many health professionals that failure to treat GERD in infancy can contribute to childhood asthma. Don't make your child or your family suffer for no reason. TALK TO THE PEDIATRICIAN. If the doctor doesn't recognize how serious the issue can be, find a new doctor.
Comments
APMommyto4 said
on 12/24/2008 Cosleeping does work for a lot of people, you make it sound as if it never works for anyone. And most reputable studies show that children grow up more independent if securely attached in their infant years, not clingy. Babies do not learn to fall asleep independently -- they give up on you. They give up that you are ever coming to get them (remember, they have no sense of time, there is only NOW). Again, a blanket statement of "when a baby falls asleep in one location, surrounded by caregivers, but wakes up alone in another location, they panic. " doesn't really cover the nuances of attached parents who cosleep. Your baby falls asleep with you and wakes up with you, no panic. The way you suggest, the baby falls asleep despondent and wakes up panicked -- that's not any better, is it? As for marital intimacy, you just have to get creative. It's spiced up our intimate lives quite
lacurcio said
on 7/9/2008 Great Advice! Good job with this article!
amylaine said
on 6/24/2008 Great advice on the colic. I have found that if helps even if your nursing the baby for the "dad" to go get the baby and bring to mom to feed when crying in the night. So then you can nurse and put the baby in the crib if so choose. 5 stars.