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Step 1
Before the storm arrives, batten down the hatches to keep from drowning in stormy relationship seas. Many common expressions have nautical origins. The expression "batten down the hatches" is no exception. In times past, when a severe storm approached, British sailors would cover the hatches or openings in the deck of a ship with tarpaulins and secure them with battens to keep water from flooding the ship. These pieces of strong wood would fit against the raised rims of the hatchways and pin the tarpaulins down drum tight. To batten down the hatches on stormy work relationship seas, take action before the storm approaches by proactively developing, nurturing and enhancing the variety of your interactions with others. Consider utilizing the following interpersonal skills: constancy, dependability, loyalty, reliability, and trustworthiness.
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Step 2
Deploy your "Doppler radar". Doppler radar is a key weather forecasting tool that can detect approaching storms before they develop into full force hurricanes, tornadoes or severe thunderstorms. It shows pictures of wind motions in storms which allow scientists and weather forecasters to predict a storm' s arrival and intensity. To deploy your Doppler radar be alert to early warning signals and hidden clues that a conflict storm is brewing. Don't ignore these signals-even the minor ones. If you see a conflict storm brewing and you don't know where it’s coming from, take time to figure out what has caused it to develop.
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Step 3
When the conflict storm hits assess and evaluate. Determine if it is a conflict squall which starts out with big gusts of wind and heavy rain, then fizzles out at a moment's notice; or is it a "category five conflict hurricane" which can linger for hours or days and cause irreparable damage to relationships.
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Step 4
Evaluate your role in the conflict. How have you contributed to it? What actions have you taken in the past or things you have left undone which have given rise to the conflict?
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Step 5
Seek shelter quickly. It can get rough out there-especially if you don’t see a conflict storm coming. If it’s an awful one don't react; instead control your impulses and force your mind and body to relax and be at peace. If you are in the midst of an "in your face" confrontation, take a break and remove yourself physically until calmer heads prevail. When discussion resumes, practice actively listening to the other party and demonstrating empathy (putting yourself in his/her shoes). If you are unable to resolve the conflict, consider engaging a neutral third party to help you uncover the issues and develop solutions.
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Step 6
After the relationship storm has passed, survey the damage. Review and inspect the conflict’s toll and impact. Consider if the relationship has changed in any way. Is it better or worse? Were your issues, position, and interests addressed? Did you achieve a mutually acceptable resolution?
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Step 7
Execute disaster recovery and cleanup. To survive, thrive and emerge from the conflict stronger than ever, you must adjust your attitude. Find ways to restore peace and harmony in the relationship. Deal with any unresolved anger, loss or depression. Ask for forgiveness and willingly offer it. Pick up the relationship pieces and patch up any breaches that may have occurred. To minimize the re-occurrence of conflict disasters, actively seek to build a stronger relationship than you had before.
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Step 8
Bosses & OrchardsUse the resources below to increase your work relationship savvy.
Comments
Limowreck said
on 6/23/2008 I ALWAYS come out on the losing end of interpersonal issues at work. I hope this helps! Thanks!