How to Use an UMBRELLA When Dealing With Difficult People

Dealing with difficult people can be perilous at times. Difficult people cause interpersonal conflict storms and require us to use conflict management umbrellas for protection. Rain is vital to all life on earth; but too much rain can do a lot of damage to life and property. Conflict is like a rain shower, small micro-bursts of anger or disagreement that seem to flare up quickly and cease just as suddenly. Conflict develops even among the finest of people. Whenever there is disagreement, a difference of opinion, a different approach, a departure from the way we do things around here, there is conflict. Been caught in any conflict squalls lately? Use the conflict management UMBRELLA to help you when dealing with difficult people.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. U = Understand. Make an attempt to understand as well as to be understood. Don't let difficult people preoccupy you; then you can deal with it directly.

2. M = Manage. Manage conflict while it is occurring. Look for the real issue which is usually found at the root of the problem. Don't allow yourself to be distracted by minor spats or side issues that distract and get in the way.

3. B = Breathe. Use a variety of stress-reducing strategies when you are in the midst of conflict. Try breathing slowly and deeply to regulate stress producing adrenalin. Take a break when conversations get heated, and above all, control your impulses.

4. R = Respond. Remain calm when dealing with difficult people, and act in a non-defensive and non-reactive way. The ability to be calm in the face of conflict will help you to think more clearly and carefully.

5. E = Embrace. Go directly to those with whom you disagree or have a conflict. Avoid behind-the-back criticism. If this fails, then ask an objective third-party to act as facilitator in resolving the conflict.

6. L = Listen. Be quick to listen and when listening do so carefully. Summarize and check out what is heard before responding. Be slow to judge, avoid name-calling, and threatening.

7. L = Learn. Examine the key things you learn from the conflict. Conflict, though painful, is necessary for growth and maturity. Ask yourself, "What can I learn here? Do I need to change my behavior or offer an apology?" Enter into each conflict situation with a learning mindset.

8. A = Accept. Conflict is a normal part of life, so accept that it will happen and most likely happen often. The people we find the most difficult are also those who offer the greatest opportunities for growth.

Tips & Warnings

• Wherever conflict exists, no matter what its cause or reason, communication has played a key role. Poor communication has either initiated the conflict or kept it going. Good communication will lead to a mutually agreeable solution. It promotes a give-and-take open dialog that focuses on the problem not the emotion.
• You are responsible for deciding how you will respond to conflict and difficult people. The U-M-B-R-E-L-L-A along with good communication will ensure that you don't get wet!
• Use the resources below to assist you in dealing with difficult people. Learn how to successfully manage conflict.

Resources

• Tune Up Your Influence Skills
• 31 Ways to Make Your Work Relationships Succeed

[sweetleo]

on 9/4/2008 Sensible advice not always easy for some to apply.

[momandpopoften]

on 6/19/2008 I love the acrostic!

[Desula]

on 6/19/2008 Thank you, I'll be well armed with my umbrella!!!