How to Keep Your Work Relationships From Going Over the Top

Ever wondered about the origin of the phrase "over-the-top"? Research indicates that during World War I, the British coined the phrase to describe how the infantry would emerge from the relative safety of the trenches and display excessive bravery by attacking the enemy across open ground. Everyone has gone over-the-top in work relationships at some point. Instead of demonstrating a genuine desire for a lasting work relationship, we come across as obnoxious, overbearing, callous or downright uninterested. To keep your work relationships fresh and balanced, consider the following tips.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Notebook and Pen
• Time for Reflection
• Action Plan

1. Don’t become a casualty of work relationship wars. There were a large number of casualties in World War I from machine gun fire that rained upon infantrymen as they came over the top of the trenches. Sometimes in our work relationships there are casualties of war from conflict, loss of trust or a failure to maintain positive interaction with co-workers.

2. Balance your need of approval. An extraordinary desire for approval and to be liked by everyone can result in over-the-top behavior caused by unrealistic expectations. It is unrealistic to expect that every co-worker will recognize and appreciate your fine qualities and herald you as the perpetual employee-of-the-month.

3. Don’t overpower co-workers. We tend to go over-the-top when we overwhelm those with whom we wish to develop a solid work relationship by throwing exaggerated compliments around, behaving in bad taste, or exceeding acceptable limits in the relationship.

4. Manage your insecurities. Don't let them ruin a good work relationship. Decide how you are going to handle them. Watch for ego trips and emotional immaturity. Don't read things into your co-workers' behavior.

5. Get beyond the surface. If someone seems too good to be true on the surface, he or she probably is. Look beyond the surface to the real person inside.

6. Don't become your own worst enemy. Self-doubt may cause you to act differently towards co-workers than you normally do. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, comparing yourself to others, or irritating them so much that you fail to succeed. Be careful not to overdo it.

7. Collaborate instead of compete. Your work relationships should have a constant give-and-take. Going over the top can turn a good relationship into a defensive competition.

8. Shape your interactions. Be sensitive to every nuance of your interaction with a co-worker and adjust your behavior accordingly. Not all co-workers are alike so modify your interactions according to what each person wants or expects from the connection.

9. 
   Bosses & Orchards

   Pay attention to your relationship with your leader or boss. Most bosses don't know what workers want; what motivates them and what causes them to commit and engage. In turn, most workers don't think about honoring or being loyal to their bosses.

Tips & Warnings

• Only you know what life is actually like serving daily on the job and in the trenches. Even so, there's really no place for over-the-top behavior in your work relationships.
• Use the resources below to keep your work relationships from going over the top.

Resources

• How to Act on the Best of Intentions at Work
• How to Use Crème Brûlée to Strengthen Your Work Relationships
• Keep Your Work Relationships Balanced

[momandpopoften]

on 6/19/2008 Never knew the origin of "over-the-top"!

[Desula]

on 6/19/2008 Good tips on managing work relationships.

[purrfect1969]

on 6/19/2008 Great advice.