How to Teach Kids Manners

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By oneloved
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Common Courtesy?

These days, common courtesy isn't so common. It's important for us to teach our kids to make manners a lifelong habit. Being polite and respectful will get you alot further than being rude, every time!

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Patience
Commitment

Step 1

Set a good example. Kids are the world's greatest imitators, and they observe our behavior far more closely than they listen to our words. If you haven't already, get into the habit of saying "please" and "thank you" to your child whenever you ask them to do something, instead of just ordering. Do the same for your spouse. Say "excuse me", and don't interrupt. Use terms of respect when addressing other people, like "Sir" or "Mrs.". Use polite phone manners, and basic etiquette at the table.

There's no need to be overly formal, but sometimes familiarity and casual atmosphere are used as excuses for being lazy and rude. If you want your child to learn proper manners, take a little extra time and effort, and err on the side of being extra polite rather than not at all. (Remember, it takes adults an average of 30 days of consistently using a behavior for it to become a habit that is second nature, without having to think about it.)
Step 2

My Baby Can Talk

Start as early as possible, using "Baby Signs". (You can find books and DVDs which teach basic infant sign language at any bookstore, or Amazon.com). After your child learns how to sign "milk", "eat", and other basic signs for things that they want, bring them the item they asked for, then teach them to sign "please" before you give it to them, and then "thank you" after they receive it. Always say the word while you sign it.
Step 3

Start with the basics, and be consistent. Once they are old enough to talk, teach them to say "please" when they ask for things, and "thank you" once they receive it. Don't give them anything when they whine - only when they ask politely. Soon they will learn that whining doesn't get them anywhere. If they don't say "please", they don't get it. If they don't say "thank you", they lose it.
Step 4

The Polite Elephant

Read children's books about manners, to help them understand the proper behavior in common life situations. A couple of my favorites for toddlers are "The Polite Elephant" by Richard Sccary, and "Excuse Me!" by Karen Katz.
Step 5

Teach them appropriate behavior for different scenarios, as soon as they are introduced to them. When they transition from high chair to table, start teaching table manners. When they start having play dates, teach how to be a good host and guest. When they're old enough to answer the phone, teach them how to do it properly.
Step 6

There's nothing worse than an ungrateful kid with an entitlement complex. Kids need to learn that the world doesn't owe them anything or revolve around them, and they aren't victims just because they don't get their way. Many of the things our kids think of as "rights" are actually privileges. Being rude = losing the privilege.

For instance, if you speak rudely to Mom in the car, you lose the privilege of Mom giving you a ride. If you use bad table manners, you lose the privilege of eating at the table. When you treat guests rudely, you lose the privilege of having friends over to play. If you don't answer the phone properly, you lose the privilege of answering it. When a child learns that they must earn the right to enjoy a privilege by doing it politely and appropriately, it teaches them to take responsibility. Manners are basically an extension of the golden rule: treat others the way you want to be treated. The earlier they learn this principle, the more likely it will become a lifelong habit.