How to Teach Kids Manners

Good manners should begin in childhood.

Most people think manners today are worse than they were 20 years ago, according to a report cited by Reader's Digest. Teaching your children good manners can be seen not only as a part of good parenting but also as a way to get society back in line.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Commitment

1. Set a good example. Kids are the world's greatest imitators and they observe our behavior far more closely than they listen to our words. If you haven't already, get into the habit of saying "please" and "thank you" to your child whenever you ask him to do something, instead of just ordering. Do the same for your spouse. Say "excuse me" and don't interrupt. Use terms of respect when addressing other people, like "sir" or "mrs." Use polite phone manners and basic etiquette at the table.

2. Start as early as possible, using "baby signs" before your child can speak. After your child learns how to sign "milk," "eat" and other basic signs for things that she wants, teach her to always sign "please" before asking for something and "thank you" after receiving it. Always say the word while you sign it.

3. Be consistent. Once your child is old enough to talk, teach him to say "please" and "thank you," just as he learned to sign them. Don't give him anything unless he asks politely. He will learn that complaining or demanding won't work. If he doesn't say "thank you" afterward, whatever was given should be taken away.

4. Read children's books about manners to help your child understand the proper behavior in common life situations. Examples are "The Polite Elephant" by Richard Scarry and "Excuse Me!" by Karen Katz.

5. Teach appropriate behavior for every new situation your child is exposed to. When she transitions from high chair to table, start teaching table manners. When she starts having play dates, teach her how to be a good host and guest. When she's old enough to answer the phone, teach her how to do it properly.

6. Explain that acting rudely and without respect means losing privileges. For instance, if your child speak rudely to you in the car, he doesn't get to ride with you. He loses the privilege of eating at the table with the family if he doesn't use table manners. Treating guests improperly means losing the right to have friends over. Manners are basically an extension of the golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated. The earlier a child learn this principle, the more likely it will become a lifelong habit.

Tips & Warnings

• Learning to use common courtesy, treating others with respect, will get you a lot further in life, from business success to a happier marriage. What greater gift can you give your kids?

References

• Reader's Digest: Uncommon Courtesy