How to Be a Great Nana

"Grammy B" with two of the best

To some women, grandparenting comes as second nature; to others it presents a challenge. It's really not that hard!

Things You'll Need

• A grandchild
• An imagination

Instructions

Be where they are...

1. Be where your grandkids are mentally and emotionally even if you can't be with them physically. If they are 3 and in the Princess stage, be willing to wear a crown, dress up in a gown and wave your magic wand. If they are eight and into soccer, be willing to kick a ball around the yard and learn the rules. If they are 16, just BE THERE.

2. Give unconditional love! Your grandchildren are not your responsibility to raise, generally speaking. It is the job of the parents to give your grandkids wings; it is your job to give them roots. Roots are that undeniable family connection that lets them know that they are a part of something bigger than they are; they have family history. Knowing that their Great Uncle John was a famous boxer gives them a sense of belonging and a sense of responsibility for their own actions. They have a name and a family reputation to uphold.Let them know that your home is a safe home, no matter what. As children grow older, they may need a place to just get away and think. Make sure they know that they can always come to your home, your arms and your heart. Don't judge; just love.

3. Be a real part of their family. Whether you live next door or three thousand miles away, keep in regular touch. Call, e-mail, write; whatever it takes to let them know that you care about their life. It is so sad that some kids only know their grandparents by a Christmas gift card. It shouldn't cost money to let your grandchildren know that you love them; be creative! Do inexpensive crafts with them; scrapbook memories to keep them alive, whether you live close-by or far away. Send or e-mail them things that mean something special to them: a stone, feather or picture. Your grandkids will love it and your connection with them will remain close.

4. 

   No Favorites!! This is especially hard if you live close to some of your grandchildren and far away from others; that bonding that comes with physical proximity is hard to ignore. Make the extra effort to be their when your grandchildren are born. All grandchildren are special beyond words; make them feel your love for them. Keep them all close and treat them all as individuals.

5. Multiples in the same family? At first, you might be able to take your grandkids together, but that can get challenging as the kids grow older. Consider taking them separately because it is better for them (individual time with grandmother) and better for you (easier!). As they grow, they will mature and quickly understand that Nana one-on-one was better than Nana one-to-two. You might golf with Hannah, go 4-wheeling with Becky, clear your garden of slugs with salt with Olivia and play croquet with Ivy. Each grandchild is different; respect and nurture those differences. You will anticipate every new grandchild.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't push it. If you're a long-distance Nana meeting a child at the airport, don't expect them to rush into your arms if they don't remember you. Be prepared to re-acquaint yourself with stories and playtime.

• Remember that you are the historian for the family and that children are enthralled by stories of their parent's childhood.

• As tiring as grandchildren can be, remember that they are a precious gift, not an inconvenience. Think of your relationship with your own grandparents and remind yourself of memorable times. Whether your memories are good or not so good, you hold the power in your hands to create fresh, happy memories with your grandchildren.

• Keep in mind that you are NOT the parent. Don't second guess your grandchild's parents and don't offer advice unless they ask for it. Make sure your tone is not judgmental. You can be assured that "Oh, so your mommy doesn't help you wash your hair?" or comments like that won't be taken well. Mind your own bees wax, as my grandmother used to say.

Resources

• Grand Loving