How to Overcome Discouragement

Last night I realized that I was discouraged. Isn’t that how it happens sometimes? It sort of sneaks up on you. Nothing overwhelmingly discouraging had happened, I was just vaguely aware that I was feeling down, dissatisfied, uncertain, overwhelmed, tired, and all the other partly cloudy emotions that stand ready to release their storms when conditions are favorable for a downpour. Can you relate?

Chalk up my downpours to the emotional upheaval and exhaustion of being 7-months pregnant in Mississippi in June, the struggle to balance love and discipline with training our children, the hesitation about looking for a new church that we feel we can “plug into,” the concerns about my husband’s business growth, the financial needs that go along with that, or the desire to be outside watching my boys play in the water, but knowing that would do me in for the rest of the day. Regardless, it took needing to formulate an answer to the third or fourth time my husband asked “so, what’s going on?” for me to realize and articulate it. I was discouraged.

I was reminded recently that “courage” is at the root of both discouragement and encouragement. It seems obvious now — right there after the prefix — but, strangely, I don’t often associate courage with my partly cloudy experiences. I looked at the derivation of “discourage” and found it stemmed from an Old French word meaning literally “away + courage.” Being “away” from courage. Discouragement boils down to a lack of courage in facing situations. We get overwhelmed or intimidated or fearful. We lose our gumption and forget our power in conquering the hurdles.

So, how can we regain our courage?
For me, it started with correcting a few basic assumptions:

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. 1. Courage is not about me. Contrary to the greeting cards, mustering it up from within can only get you so far. We learn to summon courage in the face of challenging circumstances not because we are important, but because the positive outcomes of those circumstances are important. Soldiers behave courageously in battle because they know winning the battle is more important than themselves.
   
   “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.” (1 Corinthians 9:24)

2. 2. Courage is not a result of my power, which is limited. Courage derives from a true source of power. I can maintain courage in a situation because I know Who’s really in charge. If I know who’s in charge and who’s character is really on the line, then I can trust the outcome. My husband reminded me of this verse:
   
   “Ah Lord GOD! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and by Your outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for You” (Jeremiah 32:17)
   
   If that is true, then to give in to discouragement is to deny God’s power, not mine. You see, sometimes I have the idea that courage is a lack of fear. Not really. It’s actually the presence of a healthy fear, a recognition of my own shortcomings and the place of rest I have in the One with no shortcomings.

3. 3. Courage isn’t necessarily a one-woman show. The picture of courage we sometimes conjur is one of me against the world. Most often, however, that’s not really the case. It’s just our own self-sufficiency talking. I like to be “strong.” I don’t like to rely on someone else. The truth is, however, that I will never be the last one standing. God will always still be standing there, not to mention the “great cloud of witnesses” (Hebrews 12:1) that have already stood the test. And if I pay attention, I’ll also find others as well — my husband, my family, my friends, my support system. True strength really is found in numbers:
   
   “A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
   
   Certainly not as easily as one measley thread. (Just ask the buttons holding my every-growing baby bump!)

4. 4. Move beyond the assumptions. When I’ve reminded myself of everything that’s true, sometimes the best path to regaining courage is just to focus on the task at hand and let time work its magic. I had every intention last night of delving into my own discouragement issues after everyone went to bed… Until a sleepy little 3-year-old became convinced he “wasn’t tired” and a sniffley little 18-month-old decided one bottle wasn’t enough. So, after another bottle, finding pup-pup, reading the best of Dick and Jane, a few extra kisses and stumbling to bed, discouragement wasn’t at the top of my list anymore.
   
   Two pint-size distractions. One new perspective. Today’s forecast: mostly sunny with only a small chance of little black rain clouds.

[amylaine]

on 6/19/2008 I comes from within. Great article.