How to Be a More Romantic Lover

When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for awhile, whether married or just dating, it’s easy to slip into a rut. Spice up your time with your significant other by becoming a more romantic lover.

Instructions

1. Make your relationship a priority. True love is often spelled T-I-M-E. You don't have to smother each other by spending every moment of every day together. But a serious relationship will never be romantic if time with your lover is last on your to-do list.

2. Break your routine. In the midst of the daily grind it can be easy to fall into mundane patterns. If you always go out for dinner, go dancing instead. Or have a picnic on the beach instead of trekking to the same ol’ restaurant. Mixing things up can give you both a new perspective and a new attitude toward the relationship.

3. Get to know your lover better. Study your significant other by paying close attention to his or her likes and dislikes, behaviors, attitudes and responses. What makes her smile, laugh or feel special? In what situations does he feel the most admired or respected? Take note of what you find out and try to implement what you’ve learned into your relationship. Some things may seem small, but little things can make a big difference.

4. Surprise your lover by showing how much you care. Go out of your way to show your significant other you were thinking of him or her. Plan a secret date and take her to a place that has meaning for your relationship. Or sneak into her apartment and fold her laundry and wash her dishes. Write all the things you admire about him on a post-it and stick it to his windshield. Or surprise him by baking his favorite fudge brownies and hand-delivering them to his apartment unannounced.

5. Celebrate little things, not just milestones. Often couples will wait for a birthday or anniversary to celebrate their relationship. But you can celebrate being together any time. Observe "mini-milestones" like the anniversary of your first date or your first kiss. Also remember to take the time to rejoice over progress in your relationship, such as overcoming a conflict or hardship. Or proclaim a “You are Special” day and set aside time to focus on your significant other.

6. Be creative. Every relationship is different and every person has different opinions about what is romantic. Use your imagination to come up with unique ways to show how much you love your significant other.

Tips & Warnings

• If you can't come up with romantic ideas, ask your significant other's close friends and family for suggestions.

• After a romantic date or encounter, ask your lover for feedback. This may not seem "romantic," but it can give you great insight into your lover's idea of romance.

• Do not pressure your significant other into doing things he or she may not want to do. True romance is about focusing on the other person's needs and desires, not your own. Forcing your lover into an activity which makes him or her feel uncomfortable is selfish and not romantic.