Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
Step1
Understand the process. Know that finding a birth mother could take some time. The selection and interview processes can take several months to several years. Make sure that you have strong support system in place in order to handle the highs and lows you may experience.
Step2
Determine your birth mother selection criteria. Would you rather deal with someone who has already been through the process? Are there certain personality characteristics that will disqualify a potential birth mother on sight? Making a list of characteristics you desire will make selecting a potential match easier.
Step3
Prepare your "resume." Understand that the selection process is a dual decision. You may be one of many seeking the attention of a particular birth mother. Prepare yourself for questions regarding your family life or reproductive difficulties. While you are not required to disclose personal details, it may help you form a bond with a potential match.
Step4
Locate potential birth mothers. Connect with women who have been in your situation to receive agency recommendations. Contact local organizations that may be able to provide assistance and to receive referrals of potential matches. Use organizations with a strong track record of adoption placement success to avoid being scammed.
Step5
Contact potential birth mothers. Ease into the relationship with any potential birth mother to help establish trust and to assess feelings for one another. For example, arrange phone conversations before scheduling in person meetings to ensure maximum comfortability. Avoid becoming pushy or desperate when engaging with any potential matches.
Step6
Make your final decision. Decide which relationship you would most like to pursue. Express your feelings to the potential birth mother or adoption facilitator and accept her responses.
Novice 
