How to Write a Compelling Love Letter

Love letters like conversation have given way to the mass media, the Internet and the "dumbing-down" educational process of government (aka public) schools. But personal letters are perhaps the most effective and intimate tool available to a person seeking to nurture a romantic relationship. Robert Browning made his name in history not so much as poet laureate of England as by his published love letters to Elizabeth Barrett, whom he wooed from afar for years then married almost immediately after finally meeting her. Especially in this age of electronics and virtual reality, using the language of your native tongue is the best and most powerful way to win your way into the heart of the target of your affections.

Things You'll Need

• Pen
• Ink
• Quality stationery with rag content
• Matching envelopes
• Stamps
• Lots of time

Instructions

1. Get in the right mood. You have to feel a love letter in the middle of your chest, right down to the tip of your spine. It doesn't come from your head at all, totally from the torso, from the gut. If you're not feeling like you have no choice but to write this letter, then don't even try. And you should have your problems and distractions from other aspects of your life out of the way. You have to want to find a way to communicate your feelings without physically touching him or her. A love letter is not an expression of physical passion, rather heartfelt mental, even spiritual passion. If you don't feel quite right, have a glass of wine, relax and think about it. But don't watch television, read a magazine, or surf the Internet.

2. Find the time and space. You need to be alone without interruptions if at all possible. A telephone ringing or somebody coming into your space can seriously disrupt you when writing a love letter. The best hour to write is very late in the evening or after midnight. Protect your solitude for at least an hour (you'll probably need the whole hour) to write a really poignant love letter.

3. Choose a spot to write that is uncluttered and has a good surface to write on such as a writing table or desk. Curled up in a chair writing on the back of a phone book is not optimal, but at least make sure you can transfer the ink onto the paper efficiently. A fountain pen is best for this task, but a really nice ballpoint (not a cheap, disposable plastic device) is what most people will use.

4. Take your time. When you really get rolling, you may write frantically, but love letters are a one-time hit, i.e., you don't rewrite or recopy them. So you want to make sure you pace yourself in order to make it look as neat and finished as possible.

5. Start by keeping your words and sentences very simple. Explain exactly why you are writing, e.g., "I am writing to tell you how much you are on my mind even though I am not with you." Really think through this first sentence and each sentence in the first paragraph, which should be about two or three sentences depending on the complexity of your writing style. The importance of the first sentence or two cannot be overstated. An example of the second sentence could be as follows: "Since meeting you at the (bar, lounge, church, job meeting, etc.), my life has completely changed. Even thinking of you for a moment seems to take my breath and spin a total new world in front of my eyes."

6. Once past the opening paragraph, you can ease up a little and just follow your instincts. Style, structure, even spelling are not as important as you might think if your message content is emotional enough. Some people are more critical, but it's not likely that you are an illiterate brick mason writing a love letter to an English teacher.

7. Look for common ground. The fundamental beliefs and perspective that you share are the building blocks of your relationship. For example, "When the villain in the movie jumped out the window without killing the woman he had just robbed and you started crying, I just knew our hearts were in the same place." (All right, this example is corny, but hopefully you get the idea.)

8. Another simple but powerful tactic is to use linguistics that communicate better with that particular person. The easiest way to determine how a person's mind works linguistically is by the pattern of her speech. If she talks really fast, she is probably very visual. So use a lot of words that express seeing, such as see, look, appear. If she talks steadily but not necessarily slowly and quite distinctly (like a radio announcer), then probably she is dominant auditory. This kind of person responds to words that express sound, such as hear, pounding (as in my heart is), tapping, clatter, etc. The last kind of linguistics is kinesthetic. This kind of person sometimes seems to struggle for words and talks slowly in most cases, but not necessarily steadily. The keys for this person are tangible, e.g., concrete, feel, furry, warm, heavy. For example, "My heart felt like it was wrapped in warm fur when I felt your arms pull me close to you."

9. Go back to thinking really carefully about what you're going to say once you've bored yourself to death going on and on about how much you love her, or you've run out of paper or time and have only enough room for one more paragraph. In this last paragraph, you are bound to say something sensible. Let's call it the closing, but not just the ending, rather the close as a salesman thinks of closing. A call to action is a good idea, or you can commit to a considerable action that proves your love and desire for her. Be careful not to carry this too far because then it might become a threat. But say something along the lines of what Mr. Browning immortalized for all of us amateurs (paraphrased): Real warm spring, Dear Miss Barrett. And in the spring I shall surely see you. You might take this down a notch and settle for something simple such as "I must see you again soon, and as soon as this ocean freighter docks in New York, I shall come running to your doorstep bearing gifts from abroad that demonstrate the measure of my love." You can always just say "I can't wait till this weekend when I can see you again. I'll call probably before you receive this to make plans."

10. Last, don't try to manipulate her feelings with this letter or sell yourself. A love letter is more about what you are feeling than anything else. If you are feeling love, you'll do fine as long as you take the time to express your feelings in a neat, organized and palpable manner. The time you invest will truly amaze you, because time is our most valuable commodity in this world, and giving her your time in this manner will prove invaluable.