How to Gain Confidence

How to be a more confident you.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• An open mind
• And a desire to change

1. Confidence is the single most important attribute that we have that guides our journey of life. For some of us confidence has never been a hurdle it just sort of naturally happened without a second thought. But then there is the rest of us, victims of ourselves. “We are our own worst enemy” a statement so old and so true, so how do we draw the line?
2. Know Yourself
   
   How many countless hours have you spent looking into the mirror, laying in bed, or simply hiding away? While in your recluse you wish for change, you pick on yourself, and you look at all the things that are wrong with you and your life. So that by the end of the day simply you hate yourself and you fear what tomorrow will bring.
   
   This is where your confidence has gone, on wasted energy of things you can not change. If your past was terrible, it was your past. There is nothing more you can do with it, you need to move forward, taking what you can from the experience as knowledge. Even if it was learned in a way you would not have preferred. Or if your problem is your image, your to fat, to thin, to short, to tall, whatever the reason that you hate your image. You must face the fact that no matter how you hate the way you look, it is you.
   
   Now I want you to make a list of all the things that are negative, the reasons behind your self hate and fear. But now here is the trick, for every negative you must find something positive for yourself. “Best thing to use is your own personal notebook”
   
   Example:
   Negative: I am Fat Positive: I like the color of my eyes
   Negative: I’m shy Positive: I have a good sense of humor
   Negative: I don’t have a job Positive: I can learn something new
   Negative: My father beat me Positive: I know I will never be like him
   
   Now that you get a rough idea, try this exercise it may seem silly but when you stop and think and put it all down on black and white things begin to look different. Don’t worry if the first time you do this you can not find enough positives to equal the negatives. This is where you can get creative. Take a good long look at the Negatives and figure out which ones you can see changing. And behind that write what your going to do about it.
   
   Example:
   Negative: I can’t fit into my size 26 jeans Positive: None
   Solution: Well instead of drinking a twelve pack of soda, I will allow myself two cans. Starting 03/11/2008
   Negative: I am shy Positive: None
   Solution: I am going to say hello to five people everyday for
3. The Big Picture
   
   Confidence is a reflection of how we see ourselves. So how do you want to see yourself? Do you want to be the confident guy who walks into the room and grips people’s attention. Or do you want to be the woman who stands before a large audience that is captivated on every word she says because she has faith in herself? What ever the reason you have to build your confidence, you must always depend on what’s inside you.
4. So now, I want you to write the things you wish to achieve, big or small. Heck even write things that you would love to do that you would never do in a million years.
   
   Example:
   Goals and Dreams
   I want to lose 120lbs
   I would love to meet the woman of my dreams
   I would love to become Painter
   I want to become a good father
   I want to go sky diving
   I want to dance in the ocean
   
   Keep this were you can look through it periodically and when you have achieved something place the day you did it and include the specifics heck even pictures if you want. This is your merit of honor, and don’t forget you can always add things to your list.
   
   Now for the bigger goals create your own personal road map of self success. There is no right way there is no wrong way, this is your map. We all know what we need to do to see the results we wish for but each of us have a different approach to the same thing.
   
   Example:
   My Map
   I want to lose 120lbs:
   - I will go for a walk a around the block
   - I will only go out to eat once a month
   - I will join a support group
   I want to meet the woman of my dreams:
   - I will get a new haircut and let the stylist chose a new look for me
   - I will get out of the house and mingle with people with similar interest
   - I will talk to people even though I am terrified to because I want to

Tips & Warnings

• Know yourself
• Love yourself
• Never give up on yourself
• Building self confidence is a long process because you need to get to know and love yourself. Even the simplest of men can have the presence of a king, if they are comfortable with themselves. Find yourself hobbies and things you enjoy and in no time you will find that you are not standing alone in the corner, but you are the center of attention. For you are the center of your world and you need to shine so allow yourself too. Have fun and remember confidence comes from within.