How to Say No When Your Mother-in-Law Wants to Babysit
Nothing makes some mothers skin crawl like a mother-in-law who wants to babysit for her grandkids. Although her heart may be in the right place, her recent experience with babies is well out of date and her constant sugar feeds to your toddler leaves him literally crashed out on the carpet when she’s around.So how can you tactfully say no to a mother-in-law who wants to babysit your kids?
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Instructions
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How to Say No When Your Mother-in-Law Wants to Babysit
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Develop your personal boundaries. You'll need to decide if saying no when your mother-in-law asks you to babysit means saying no to watching the kids when you run to the corner store, saying no when you go out for the evening with your spouse or just saying no period. Having a clear understanding of how you feel about different situations will help you to be prepared when your mother-in-law asks to babysit the kids.
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Work within your boundaries. Once you've decided what you are and are not comfortable with, don't be swayed. It's easier to say no upfront than to have to change your mind and say no later.
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Provide your mother-in-law with plenty of opportunities to spend time with her grandkids. If she feels that she has an established relationship with them, she's apt to not be as offended when you decline her offer to babysit.
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Have a pool of trusted sisters. You can easily say no when your mother-in-law asks you to babysit when you have a pool of trusted sitters at the ready.
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Make it a policy that you don't use family to babysit. If this is practical for your family it can really make saying no easy. Stress that you don't want to take advantage of that special grandparent relationship so you really prefer to leave babysitting to hired caregivers.
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Have an answer ready. When the question is finally asked, have a short and simple response ready. Use your most pleasant voice and offer up something like "Thanks for the offer, but we already have a sitter" or "That's so kind, thank you, but we are all set" should work. Don't forget to add on an alternative offer. "But we'd love to see you Sunday after church." Adding an alternative offer can soften the blow that can accompany your no.
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Tips & Warnings
Don't talk about needing to get a babysitter in front of your mother-in-law.
If you let your mother, but not your mother-in-law babysit the kids, you're likely to run into a problem.
