How to Overcome Sibling Rivalry in Adulthood

Sibling rivalry among children is very common, as they compete for the attentions of their parents. Although the hope is that this will cease, as you enter adulthood, the truth is that many "grownup" siblings continue to have issues of jealousy and resentment between them. If you want to overcome this problem, there are some things you can do to prompt change.

Things You'll Need

• Love
• A willing heart
• Forgiveness
• A sense of self

Instructions

Getting Rid of Sibling Rivalry

1. Put aside any personal insecurity you may have. Perhaps your sibling has always been considered to be better looking or more athletic or smarter, etc., but that should no longer figure into your self-esteem. Learn to value your own strengths and talents, instead of trying to measure up to those of your sibling.

2. Release old hurts and resentments towards your sibling. You may have painful memories, due to things that may have been done or spoken by your sibling when you were growing up. If you want to build a better relationship with your brother or sister, now that you are adults, you need to let go of the past and work on moving forward.

3. Learn to focus on your sibling's good points and strengths. If you have been in the habit of pointing out your sibling's faults, weaknesses and errors, it can be easy to only zero in on those things. Now that you're an adult, however, you need to realize that no human being is ever perfect and each person has attributes, abilities and characteristics that deserve to be valued and respected.

4. Try communicating in a positive way with your sibling. Try calling your sister or brother on the telephone, just to say "hello" and find out how they are. Instead of responding critically to whatever it is he or she may have to say, be willing to listen. Send your sibling a "Thinking of You" greeting card or anything else that lets him or her know you want to reach out in friendship.

5. Always clear up misunderstandings, as soon as they happen. Don't finger point or get defensive, but work to clear up matters, immediately. If it requires you to apologize, then do so, in order to keep your relationship with your sibling free of antipathy.

6. Learn to appreciate the importance of your family, including your sibling. Look at the things you have in common and celebrate the love you have for one another, instead of dwelling on your differences.