How to Control Feelings of Jealousy

Jealousy: the green eyed monster. It's an emotion that we all experience at some time in our life. Most times, it's a perfectly natural emotion that passes once it is put into perspective. But if it's allowed to grow and fester, jealousy can become a very destructive animal. An out-of-control, jealous person can not only hurt himself, but his partner too.The key to dealing with jealousy is getting to the root cause of it.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Take a look at yourself and ask, “Why am I jealous of this person?” Be honest with yourself. Is it because you're feeling insecure? Maybe it comes from low self-esteem, fear, doubt, or even anger? Understand that there is something within triggering the jealousy. Once you step within yourself and get to the root cause of your anger, it's time to start dealing with it. Running away from that root cause will only make things worse.
2. If your jealousy comes from a lack of self-confidence or low self esteem, then do something that will help you rebuild your confidence. Start by not comparing yourself to others. As corny as it sounds, we are unique, and you should embrace that concept. Look for what makes you special and separate from someone else.
3. If fear is fueling your jealousy, you need to deal with that fear. We have all been consumed with jealousy because our co-worker was able to tell the boss exactly what she thought while we were afraid to. Maybe instead of being jealous of the coworker, ask her for tips on talking to the boss, and next time you can be the one that speaks up.
4. Communicate your feelings. Whenever you feel that jealousy is taking over, you should talk it out. Your jealousy may have you convinced that your girlfriend was flirting with the waiter, while in reality, that is not the case. Talking to your girlfriend about it in a non-aggressive manner could help you gain a better understanding of the situation.
5. Finally, ask yourself, “Is being jealous working for me?” If handled in the right way, jealousy can actually motivate you and help you grow as a person. However, it can also create a gap between you and your loved ones. This is why it always helps to ask, "Is this working for me?" If not, changes need to be made.