How to Get Past Hating An Alcoholic in Your Life
It can be more than heart-wrenching having to deal with an alcoholic relative or good friend, watching them abuse alcohol only to bring sadness, shame, financial hardship to close friends, family and to themselves. It's only human to feel a trauma that may find itself accompanying hatred, but there are ways to comfort yourself and to make each day a little easier.
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Instructions
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Alcoholism is a horrible illness for family, friends and the person suffering from the disease.
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Get past feelings of hatred toward the person who drinks heavily and spends most of his time getting drunk. You have to understand that an alcoholic does not drink in order to upset his friends and family. There may be a number of different reasons. Many have a genetic predisposition that causes them to crave it much like a diabetic who knows they must have a large cup of orange juice immediately in order to level the blood sugar.
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Attempt to view this loved one as someone who is ill and has a disease that may very well end up killing him. Again, much of the time, the alcoholic doesn't see into the future with respect to his health. The drinking brings comfort to those who have the purely psychological addiction, and those who have the genetic component are even more deeply addicted, since they don't simply want to be satisfied from the psychological standpoint. It does become physical; their body tends to need that drink, just like the epileptic needs the anti-convulsant on a regular basis. In fact, when a serious alcoholic goes sober, suddenly, they are known to have seizures (DT's) in response to the absence of alcohol.
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Accept the things discussed above and move forward with your own life by firmly establishing your priorities. You must accept that there is nothing you are able to do to make this person sober. Understanding that an attempt at sobriety must come from them is your first step in being able to properly prioritize your life. Until you accept this, you'll not be the best person you can be in raising children, contributing in the workplace, and being a good friend to friends and relatives who need you.
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Attempt to do away with the hate that you feel. Attend some meetings that will help you to share your feelings and your thoughts with other people who have been through the same or similar situations. It helps so much to be able to talk at length, to listen to the thoughts of people who have been through watching an alcoholic that they care about and their own experiences and feelings concerning the inability to help someone to pursue sobriety.
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Tips & Warnings
Know that the alcoholic must pursue sobriety on his own. It is up to them; not anyone else.
Do read up on the topic. It helps. Melody Beattie is a well-known author who writes about having an alcoholic in your life.
Books include:
CODEPENDENT NO MORE
FINDING YOUR WAY HOME: A SOUL SURVIVAL KIT
THE LANGUAGE OF LETTING GO
It is important to see your doctor if this is causing you depression or sadness that doesn't allow you to function in your daily life.
Al-Anon meetings also help if there is a strong depression.
