How to Avoid Social Kisses

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By Sarah Wilson CCRP
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Condoleezza Rice and Shimon Peres greeting

Social kissing has become so prevalent that many churches have incorporated it in the "Welcome" portion of worship services. Suddenly, you are immersed in the middle of family, friends and strangers hugging and kissing your cheeks as if you were old friends. I hate that part of church as I don’t like cigarette smokers and strangers invading my personal space. I don’t think I’m alone in this and in case there are others, let me tell you what I do to avoid the social kiss.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Assertive attitude
Confidence

Step 1

Approach with hands extended

As the person approaches you, take the lead and walk towards them with a smile and your hands firmly extended for a handshake. This should let the person know that you are not comfortable with the social kiss.
Step 2

If it’s a business meeting or gathering, stand slightly away from the others and when it’s your turn to greet the person, extend your hand firmly and initiate a handshake.
Step 3

Glass in hand helps avoid the social kiss

At a social gathering, keep a glass in your hand (even if it’s water) and as the person approaches with that customary social kiss, lift the glass to take a drink and extend the other hand for a handshake.
Step 4

Arrive late. If social kissing occurs in your church or organization and you don’t want to take part in it, arriving after this part of the meeting is a great alternative. Churches and organizations tend to have a set program and these "meet and greet" sessions usually occur around the same time every time.
Step 5

Cough into a napkin or handkerchief in your left hand while extending your right hand (or vice versa if you’re left handed) for a firm handshake with a quick remark that you think you’re catching a cold. If there’s more than one person for you to greet and they think you’re catching a cold, chances are they won’t want to kiss you.
Step 6

Pull out your blackberry, palm pilot, PDA, iPhone, or some gadget. Check your messages or fake a call but act busy and excuse yourself. Then return with apologies and hands extended to shake the person’s hand. This is a perfect way to avoid the social kiss without offending anyone.
Step 7

Excuse yourself by heading towards the restroom and return when the welcome session has ended.

Comments

writedesign said

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on 2/12/2009 I don't like "hello" kisses or handshakes. I'm not a clean freak, but when you've got two kids with you and you can't wash your hands right away, you always wonder where their next cold came from.

MIghtyDreamer said

on 2/4/2009 these are good tips. Although lol I have to say the I think I'm catching a cold can back fire if you forget you said that to someone earlier. It did to me. The person say me later and said they are sorry that I'm getting a cold. I forgot and said, "Cold? What are you talking about?" :)

theraclitus said

on 12/14/2008 It really is challenging to avoid the unwanted social kiss, especially when it's incoming. I like the gadget suggestion--- that's always my strategy.

CrystalR said

on 12/11/2008 Yah, what's with the whole social kiss and greet thing going on! There are some people that it can be quite uncomfortable to do this with. Thanks for the tips.