How to Avoid Social Kisses

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By justsumguy
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Avoid Social Kisses

You see it coming, but feel rooted in place, helpless to avoid the lipped greeting. What are some things that you can do to avoid social kissing and make sure someone isn’t pushing the envelope of local customs in an attempt to curry your affection?

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Vigilance
Determination
Tact
A little forethought
A smile

Step 1

Space Invaders

PDA, or Public Displays of Affection are appropriate for couples who are affectionate and naturally expressive, whether in public or private. As with anything, it can be taken too far (jeez, can you guys just get a room already?!).

With the abundance of eclectic social morays, the faux affection of the social kiss is gaining in popularity. Whether it’s a customary part of greeting or a spontaneous expectation, what if this practice unnerves you or causes you anxiety?

Whether it’s an air kiss, a one cheek smack or a straight up lip-lock, if you are looking for a polite way to decline social kissing, first you need to realize that it is completely within your right to do so.

Everyone has a radius of personal space, typically two to three feet. There are space invaders; close talkers, and people seemingly oblivious to social cues to back off. The one thing that all these people require: your attention.
Step 2

Attention Deficit Has Its Merits

If someone comes up to greet you, match the speed of their movements by moving in a different direction, as if you are so busy you have something pressing that requires your attention but you’re still glad to see them; smile and give them the hurried presidential waive just as their lips have begun to pucker, say “Hey!” Or act like something is burning in an oven somewhere and you just realized it. It’s a greeting put-off.
Step 3

Stand Up For Yourself

Here’s looking ATCHOO

Resume a "talk to the hand" position as the lip plane taxies for its landing and claim to be suffering a virus; a cold, flu, whooping cough, anything that’s cause for pause- and the greeter will likely be thankful for the warning, and you’ll retain your space.

If you’re really brave and don’t mind an evening of people shifting uncomfortably in their seats, it's as simplex as this: Buy some NERDS candy, take a bit of the grape flavored ones, add a dab of water to the top of it and glue it next to your lip. A sure way to procure air greetings for life.

Don't give someone the opportunity to get that close; hold out your hand for a greeting, or take theirs and give it a good vigorous shake. I once knew a man who would come at you with his hand out from ten feet away. He was ready. I couldn’t have kissed him if I’d wanted to.
Step 4

It has been said that we teach people how to treat us. The best time to teach someone how to treat us is not when we have allowed them to cross our personal boundaries for fear of confrontation or offense, but the very first time we meet them.

Still, it’s never too late to put your hand out and decline a social kiss. You will ultimately be respected for it.

Comments

motherNN said

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on 9/30/2008 40 Spanish guys came to work today to tour and I joked that I didn't even get my butt pinched, darn. Guess I like PDAs :)

slphilbrick said

on 9/27/2008 "here's looking atchoo??" lol... I only have one "social" kisser that I can't seem to escape, but I HAVE learned that as that lip to lip approaches, I turn my cheek at the last sec. Works every time !