How to Survive an Attack of the Invisibles

The Invisibles are not stealth creatures from outer space, subversive rebel organizations or unsightly flesh-eating bacteria. So how do you know when you've been attacked by the Invisibles? If you're surrounded by people--strangers, acquaintances, family, even close friends--yet feel lonelier than you do when sitting at home by yourself eating cookies on a Saturday night. Let the following tips help you build a suit of armor that will protect your spirit against your next Invisibles attack.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Blame it on human nature. Don't blame yourself. Never say, "There is something wrong with me." There is nothing wrong with you. Everybody feels terribly lonely, pained, anxious and confused much of the time. These are essential (albeit difficult) components of the human experience.

2. Lower your expectations. One reason we sometimes feel invisible in a group of people is that we expect too much from social interactions. Most people don’t REALLY notice others. In general, the time you spend with people will be about companionship, entertainment and light-hearted distraction, not about soul bearing.

3. View invisibility as a superpower. If nobody's noticing you, you can get away with a lot more than you can as the center of attention. Take on the persona of the mysterious loner and observe the room from the corner like you're watching a movie. Or go the opposite route and do something out of your character like dance on a bar top or flirt with the cute stranger across the room. If nobody's paying attention to you, you've got nothing to feel insecure about. Go ahead and act as you please.

4. Employ your X-ray vision. Chances are you aren't the only person in the vicinity feeling bad because the entire world seems to look straight through you. Use your emotional X-ray vision to peek into the souls of those around you to see who needs some compassionate attention. You’ll earn karma points by helping others out of their own invisible attacks.

5. Check your reflection. Could it be that the reason people are ignoring you is because you’re putting out a “leave me alone” vibe? You get what you give, so if you want people to interact with you, make sure you’re sending the right signals.

6. Make like a tree. If the social setting is making you unbearably depressed, leave.

7. Pour yourself into creativity. Feelings of isolation have ignited the inspiration for many masterpieces. If you are a painter, a photographer, a dancer, a writer, a musician, use these feelings to fuel a new project or hone your craft. If you are a person who hasn’t given ample attention to your artistic side, now is the perfect time to begin.

8. Remember: True connection is hard to come by. Feeling deeply connected to another human being is more a bonus than the standard way of things, more garnish than main course, more indefinable magic than controllable formula.

[djackman]

on 6/23/2009 great article on dealing with the invisibles thanks 5*

[erica5868]

on 6/21/2009 What an amazing few paragraphs! As a nearly-empty-nester, it's difficult to grasp the idea that I'm really not that alone - or that different. Thanks for the reminder.

[eemie]

on 4/8/2009 A very informative article! 5*s!

[boatst]

on 3/31/2009 Good article on loneliness. Thanks for creating it.

[sharoni]

on 6/29/2008 thanks for helping me give a name to what i've been feeling lately. as always, you rock!

sharon
www.geocities.com/sharonmcelwee
mahamaitri.blogspot.com