How to Stop Getting into Bad Relationships

Many people are passive about ending a bad relationship. Even if it is obvious to you and most people around you that you are in a bad relationship, an abusive relationship for many people is still difficult to end. Many times people end bad relationships only to find themselves back in a similar or worse relationship. By addressing childhood memories and issues, it is possible to stop unhealthy relationships, rebuild your self-esteem, and attract healthier people into your life.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Courage
• Self-honesty
• Paper and pen

1. Relax and think of a peaceful place. In your mind, place yourself in this peaceful place. Take deep relaxing breaths. Put your bad relationship out of your mind. Become willing and open to being honest with yourself. Think about the feelings and situations from your childhood that parallel the feelings in your relationship. It is safe to remember these feelings in your peaceful place.

2. Write down how the situations and feelings from your childhood may be similar to your current relationship. Many people unconsciously seek out relationships that are similar in dynamics to their childhood relationships. Subconsciously you may be trying to overcome the same type of abuse you suffered in your childhood to try and affirm your value as a human being.

3. Become willing to forgive the people from your childhood that hurt you. Remember that they too were probably abused and were doing the best they could at the time. It's okay not to forgive people right now. Just become willing to forgive them.

4. Make a list of the qualities you want in a relationship. Affirm to yourself often that you deserve to have a good relationship. Recovery from abusive relationships is a process.

5. Do not obsess about ending your bad relationship. When you work on your own issues, your relationship will work out for the better by itself.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not try to change your significant other.
• Do not wait for the other person to change.
• Focus on yourself.
• Many unhealthy relationships stem from alcohol and drug abuse. Going to appropriate 12-step meetings such as Al-anon and Alcoholics Anonymous are extremely helpful for healing from toxic relationships.
• If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, seek professional help.

Resources

• How to deal with depression
• How to avoid toxic bosses
• How to find your inner strength

[sneedc]

on 1/26/2009 I can see so much more clearly now! GREAT ADVICE! PHEW. Free, too! LOVE THE EHOW! 5*

[punkenstein]

on 12/13/2008 i so wish it really were that easy.

[GeoffreyMe]

on 7/17/2008 wise words of well-being!