How to Not get caught looking at porn

getting caught while having fun on the internet?

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• nothing

1. Set the monitor or flat screen so that it is only visible to you, and is not easily seen by passersby.
   In concert with #1, position yourself so that approaching persons can be seen first by you, giving you a chance to act.
   Always have other windows open (on bottom taskbar) to switch to easily (a complicated graph or table is good, it explains why you are staring so intently!) Blank screens or desktops are not good choices. Get an internet browser with tabs so you can keep it all on one window.

2. In extension to the above, Alt+Tab (On Windows Keyboards/OS) will immediatly shift to the last application window you viewed (not only is swapping to a different window a handy tool; it usually works instantaneously, even when your machine is running slowly.
   Only have one browser window of porn open at a time (so you don't inadvertently switch to another porn site!)

3. Move your task bar to the left or right (by clicking and dragging) of the screen so that nobody can see the site that you are looking at.
   Keep your mouse on the X-button, and when someone comes, you can close the window with a quick click. Be sure to remember the site name for after that person leaves.

Tips & Warnings

• Visit porn sites by selecting them from a search engine, this will prevent their addresses from showing up in the search history.
• Keep your legs crossed.
• Save good porn to a portable thumb drive to have when you are in a better position to enjoy it.
• To avoid malicious software installing itself onto your computer, only visit reputable pornsites, typing in www.[random naughty word].com is generally a bad idea. A 'reputable' website is one you hear recommended by a fellow internet user.
• Keep the window closed to cut off room ventilation; when confronted as to why you may look flushed and sweaty, you can shift the blame to the room's heat. Open the window to confirm this.
• Clear your cache often, so nobody will see the sites you've been on.
• If you know someone is going to look at your computer, make sure you delete the history, cookies, cache and everything else off your computer. It will make it look like you have not been looking at porn at all. Even though you did.
• In case you have few porn websites opened, and you notice somebody approaches, use the shortcut "Windows Key + D". That will instantly minimize all windows.
• Wear a sweater or some loose pants in case a parent asks you to do something that requires standing up.
• Instead of adding sites to your favorites list, create a free website or blog and list the urls of the porn sites on there. If you decide to go with a favorites list (for convenience), then rename them with innocent-looking names.
• Even if you delete your cache and files that may cause potential embarrassment, it is still possible to recover all files that have been 'permanently' deleted. However, this requires an advance knowledge of technology, and the resources required are rarely available to anyone other than certain police departments.
• Burying your Porn folder deep within other folders may, realistically speaking, not be enough. A simple search for folders with large file sizes will find them out. Apart from putting them in password protected locations of your account, the best thing you can do is call it something like 'DLL resources' and tuck it away in one of your Program Files.

[Haoie]

on 7/18/2008 Always handy advice. No pun intended.