How to Cut Ties with a Toxic Friend
A toxic friend might blatantly mock you, or use offhand remarks to put you down. A toxic friend will be very needy, but rarely there to lend a hand when you are down. If you are feeling used and abused, it's time to cut those ties.
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Instructions
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Recognize that the friendship is toxic and unhealthy. Acknowledge that, although it might be difficult, you need to end this friendship.
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Admit that you hold some responsibility for this toxic relationship. No one can abuse or take advantage of you without your permission. By taking responsibility for your role, you will be less likely to become involved in other toxic friendships.
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Choose a neutral location to talk to your friend. Set a specific time, and prepare what you will say. Allow time for your friend to talk as well, but have a plan in the (likely) event that your friend becomes manipulative or abusive.
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Be honest, but not mean. Rather than taking on an accusatory tone, tell your friend that you are not able to handle your friends needs. Start your sentences with "I" statements, such as "I feel belittled when you speak badly about my job," rather than saying "You always put down my career choice."
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5
Make it clear that the relationship is over, but make sure your friend knows you don't wish any ill on him. State that you will not bad mouth your friend and hope your friend will do the same. Remember that you can only control your actions, and the people who know you and matter to you will not believe any gossip.
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Tips & Warnings
If it seems appropriate, you might suggest professional help for your friend.
If your friend becomes abusive or starts a fight, leave immediately, knowing you tried to end the friendship in the best manner possible.
Resources
- Photo Credit www.morguefile.com/jpkwitter
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Comments
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thank you that was very helpful :)
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Clare Gryphon
Jan 21, 2011
I disagree with point number 2. (Admit that you hold some responsibility for this toxic relationship. No one can abuse or take advantage of you without your permission. By taking responsibility for your role, you will be less likely to become involved in other toxic friendships) People do not give permission to be abused that is utter garbage. People all people can be caught up because most want to see the best in people. Once you recognize things are toxic it is best to try and remove them from your life. There is no steps other than stop all contact, you may have to look for a whole set of friends again. Due to the amount of issues this person has caused in your life. -
casinogirl123
Sep 16, 2010
don't wanna go back to all she does is take advantage and complains so much i just want her to get out of my life for good i had enough if you guys have answers let me know please thank you for your support you can help me out on here :)
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casinogirl123
Sep 16, 2010
your not alone dlblanco i was friends with this girl for 3 yrs in my younger age i thought we were good friends and everything went "Toxic Friendship" she complains random things to me almost everyday for 3 yrs and i was in hospitality class with her and she wanted my password for my old email i use to have and one day i was deleting old emails and i found this email this guy she was sending emails to she took advantage of i was like that's it enough is enough i can't take this crap anymore i got fed up with her and i ended are "Toxic Friendship" cause i had enough i thought she was a true friend to me and she betrayed me by sending this guy an email she's stalking and now she's trying to get me back as a friend i need to speak up for myself i don't know what to say to her i don't like her and trust her she's sending me letters and emails it feels like the same thing all over again i...
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dlblanco
Jan 08, 2009
I am so happy that I found this website! A little over a year ago, I went through a horrible time with someone I considered my best friend. She had some jealousy issues which I was always aware of but was never really affected by. That was until I got back in touch with some friends I had lost contact with over the years. Well that's when all hell broke loose! I found out that she had been lying to my friends by telling them that I wanted nothing to do with them. She was confronted by her lies and started acting REALLY crazy. In the end, we wound up in court and she finally was out of my life. This whole experience inspired me to write, Single Latina Female, and have this book published because it was my way of telling the story for others to know that they are not alone. I learned the hard way not to avoid the obvious warning signs of a toxic friend. Now I feel like novice in the fr
