How to Improve Nonverbal Skills

The words that you say in a conversation are only a small part of what you communicate to another person. Your tone and body language play a much larger role in what you are communicating to another person. For example, the words “great job” can be taken as a sincere compliment or as a sarcastic barb, depending upon the nonverbal skills used. If you are saying the right words but not backing them up with your nonverbal skills, then you are not going to be a very effective communicator. Here is how to improve your nonverbal skills.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Desire to improve your nonverbal skills
• Understanding of the role of nonverbal communication

1. Recognize that nonverbal skills are a very important part of communication. The way that you position your body and the voice tone that you use during a conversation can speak even louder than the actual words coming out of your mouth. By improving your nonverbal skills, you can become a much more effective communicator in all areas of your life.

2. Make eye contact. The fastest way to improve your nonverbal skills is to make eye contact with the other person during a conversation. By making eye contact, you are connecting with that person, which makes it much easier for both of you to understand each other. When your eyes are wandering during a conversation, you are sending the nonverbal message that you are not invested in the conversation.

3. Pay attention to your tone. Most of us have had the misfortune of sitting through a speech in which powerful words were killed because the speaker was clearly bored, which made what could have been a dynamic speech unbearably boring. If you want to motivate another person, you need to put some energy into your speech. If you want to put another person in his place, use a deeper and more firm voice. Use your tone to energize your words.

4. Watch your body language. The way you position your body during a conversation speaks volumes, and you can use the way you position yourself to improve your nonverbal skills. If you want to end a conversation sooner, make of point of looking at your watch, which says, “I have somewhere else that I need to be.” If you want to be in a power position during a conversation, stand while the other person remains seated. If you want to communicate that you are open to the other person’s ideas, then uncross your arms.

5. Pay attention to other people’s nonverbal cues. When you are in a meeting, observe two people talking with each other. Notice the tone of their voices and the positions of their bodies. You can often tell who is going to “win” a disagreement based upon the nonverbal body language used.

6. Incorporate effective nonverbal skills into your own communication style. When you see another person use a nonverbal skill effectively, try to incorporate that nonverbal skill into your own communication style. For example, if you see a person effectively raise his eyebrows in a way that sends the message, “I really do not believe you,” without having to say a word, then incorporate that nonverbal skill into your own way of communicating when you are in a similar situation.

7. Practice improving your nonverbal skills. At first, you might feel self-conscious as you start focusing on your nonverbal skills. However, with a little practice, your nonverbal skills will become second nature, and other people will be learning from you.

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