How to Build Trust in a Relationship

There is no doubt that relationships are important to most of us. We obtain a great deal of support and nurture from friends, relatives, coworkers, and even casual relationships with acquaintances. Trust is one of the essentials in any healthy relationship, and is one of the building blocks that we cultivate over time. Here are some ideas on how to build that trust in just about any type of relationship.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Building Trust in a Relationship

1. Be trustworthy yourself. People are attracted to persons who tend to walk the talk. Make sure your actions and your professed standards are in harmony. When people notice that you actually do what you say is ethical and moral, they are more likely to put stock in what you have to say.

2. Follow through when you make a promise. This can apply to anything from showing up for lunch to helping out in a crisis. Never promise anything that you know you can’t deliver. People will trust someone who will not commit much more than someone who makes commitments and consistently breaks them.

3. Keep confidences. When someone chooses to share personal details about a problem he or she is dealing with, keep your ears open and your mouth shut. Do not discuss what you have been told with anyone else without permission. Exceptions would be situations where life-threatening consequences or the commission of illegal acts could result.

4. Demonstrate respect and awareness for the personal space of others. If you know Saturday mornings are family time for your best friend, make it a point to not call or visit until the afternoon. Respecting boundaries can go a long way in establishing and building trust between two people.

5. Keep a cool head when an acquaintance is having a meltdown of some sort. Allow the individual time to vent. Once the first round of extreme emotion has passed, then is the time to attempt to reason with and help the acquaintance find an acceptable solution to whatever problem caused the outburst.

6. Always be honest with other people. If your opinion is asked and you don’t agree with an idea or course of action, then say so. This can be accomplished by pointing out reasons why a different solution would be a better fit, rather than attacking the course of action promoted by your acquaintance. By doing so, you offer further food for thought and do not imply that your acquaintance is lacking in reasoning capability or some other attribute.

Tips & Warnings

• The key to building trust is to extend respect. While this is relatively easy to do with people with similar backgrounds, it can be more challenging when interacting with people who are very different. But give it a try and often you will find the effort helps to enhance your own world view.
• Don’t assume that anyone owes you trust. While many people begin a relationship with an assumption of trust, it is your choices of actions that will eventually convert that assumption into a solid and enduring block of trust.