How to Deal With a Teens Feelings of Abandonment

Every parent of a teenager understands the delicate and ever receeding line in the sand that seperates being overly cautious and concerned about a child potentially feeling ignored or disconnected. Divorce, change in family structure or even an increase in time spent away from the home unit can all contribute to a teenager feeling a sense of abandonment. Read more to learn how to deal with a teens feelings of abandonment.

Things You'll Need

• Open line of communication
• Patience
• Love
• Respect

Instructions

How to Deal With a Teens Feelings of Abandonment

1. Affirm and validate the child's feelings, frustrations and observations. Do not shame or blame the child for his criticism of the family dynamic. Explain that you believe every child has the right to a consistent, balanced, nurturing and loving relationship with a parent. Validate his sense of loss and express regret that he feels "cheated" or "ignored".

2. Empathize with the child's sense of loss. To show empathy and remorse for the child's sense of loss and abandonment, listen as she confronts the obstacles she believes have created distance and disconnect within the family (parent's long hours spent at the office, competition with other siblings for attention, parental separation from divorce). Demonstrate the gravity of her loss. Show the impact of her pain on your heart. Mirror her feelings with compassion.

3. Try a role reversal activity. Explain to the child that you can understand how he would feel abandoned. Speak from the narrative the child has given. Explain how you would feel if the roles were reversed.

4. Schedule individualized time with the child. Set a weekly time to meet with the child one-on-one. Explain that during this "sacred time" you will be emotionally, physically and cognitively present. Explain that you will not allow anyone to interupt, disrespect, or disregard this "sacred time".

5. Schedule an appointment with a professional counselor. Allow the child to work with a counselor to resolve larger issues that may grow from his sense of abandonment. Encourage your child to express and deal with any rage, resentment or dispondency that he may feel. Explain that the counselor is simply a sounding board for any larger issues and should be regarded as a part of the healing process.