How to tell if someone is cheating on you.

Confused and suspicious of your special other? Here are a few things to look out for when in doubt.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Common sense
• Investigative skills
• Patience

1. Cheating. The word alone sounds dirty. So before you accuse your partner of the dirty word, you better have an excellent reasoning behind it or you’ll come off as the crazy insecure one. No one wants to be that, either.
   
   Every situation is different in a relationship, so before you go on a rampage, make sure you’ve tried on your thinking cap and have come up with all the missing pieces. For starters, the length of your relationship and the level of commitment you both understand from one another are very important. Don’t assume because you’re in it for the long haul that they are, too. Two weeks of dating does not spell out commitment and neither does frequent visits to each other’s beds. As much as one or the other might hate the discussion of “where are we?” in a relationship- that conversation has to come up sometime or else it’s all about neat foot work of the guessing game and either one of you could be cheating and not even know it.
2. So you’ve established your relationship and there’s no way either of you could use the excuse that you don’t know where the other stands, then here are a few hints you should look out for is you suspect your partner of being unfaithful. Remember, before you jump the gun; make sure your suspicions are true and not exaggerated, as anger and an overly imaginative mind can sometimes cause the brain to come up with scenes that never actually happened.
3. In two different worlds? The number one easy to spot suspicion would be if your partner begins to pull away from you. Emotionally, physically, and finally, just not there anymore. If your relationship has matured to the point where you both connect emotionally and physically, you’ll know when they’re no longer “there”. Now wait a minute, don’t rear that out-for-revenge personality just yet. You must also try to fit in any missing pieces of this puzzle. You have to think on what’s going on with your partner’s life. Was there a close death or a loss of a dream job or something that would make your partner suddenly act differently? Even if it was something as simple as a fight with their parents or siblings or a close friend. Has this happened before? If so, how did your partner behave then? Never assume and accuse. It could just make your relationship worse.
4. Another aspect to consider for suspicion would be if your partner constantly checks their cell phones or messages and they seem to stop breathing when you “play” (look through) their phone or on their computer/e-mail. Just keep in mind that they could just possibly be waiting for an important message. However, you’d know of this important message that they’re waiting on- but always let them have the benefit of the doubt. Only question if you actually find something solid and there’s no possible way it was “accidentally” sent to the wrong person.
5. Another behavior characteristic to look out for is if your partner begins to want to hang out with only their friends more often than before and is not too keen on the thought of you tagging along. These could be signs that your partner is letting other’s know that they’ll be on the market soon, already are, or simply they need some space. You’ll have two options: discuss with your partner your concerns and make sure you’re both still in this relationship or wait it out and see if this is a phase that your partner’s simply going through to get a little space. Either way, the best way to go about this is to discuss your concerns with your partner.
6. Long hours at the job? Work. Work can be tricky (or not) depending on your partner’s job. If you hear the excuse that they suddenly have to go on a “business trip” and your partner’s job blatantly does not require any trips related to their work, that’s a dead ringer. However, there are many jobs that do require travel. This should be something that you’ve already known. If your relationship is secure at the start, you’d have heard them talk about their job and what they do. You could volunteer to help them pack if it’ll ease your mind. You could even drop them off at the airport and pick them up again. If that still doesn’t cut it, when they return, a simple quick peek at their receipts (if you’re on a business trip, everyone will want to be reimbursed for their expenses, so a receipt will be crucial to keep for their expense report), or help them un-pack. Working late- once again, that falls under the common sense aspect. Could their job require them to work late (month end, closing up shop, etc)? Whatever you do, don’t stalk the area of their workplace. Simply express your concerns in a non-accusing way, if you deem it necessary and appropriate, if the work excuse begins to increase.
7. Cheating is a dirty and sneaky business. However, most people who do cheat, like all crime scenes, leave some pretty hefty clues. Do your fair share of investigation and thinking before trying to haul the culprit into break-up jail or you could be the one staying at the heart-break hotel tonight.
8. No matter what comes out of your investigations and findings, remember that either way, you'll be OK. Losing trust or even having a slight suspicion in someone breaks their image in your mind. No matter how much you deny or forgive, you have to know what's real to yourself and know when to end a relationship or if it's worth the extra mile to make it work. Good luck!

Tips & Warnings

• If in doubt, you should always voice your concerns and be sure to have some good reasons to back up your reasonings.
• Don't automatically accuse. If anything, it could strain your relationship even more.