How to Avoid Getting Romantically Involved with the Wrong Person

There is no way around it--this is a tough one! By nature most of us can be very impulsive when it comes to personal relationships. It is because of that wonderful thing called "chemistry". You get that feeling about a certain person, and before you know it (and before you know them), you are involved in some form. The steps that follow may seem a bit tedious, but if you do your best to follow them, you have a better chance of avoiding that road that leads to a broken heart (or worse).

Instructions

1. Try not to be on the constant lookout for a companion. When you are feeling alone, and maybe a little bit desperate, you become very vulnerable. Your guard is down, and you will tend to make those impulsive decisions. People can usually sense that. And some of them will "prey" on those who are showing those signs. It's fine to look! Just don't feel like you need to be "on the hunt." Let what happens, happen.

2. Be cautious of where and how you meet people. This is not to say that you will never meet "Mr. or Mrs. Right" at a bar or a club. It happens. But most of the time you are not thinking completely straight in this environment, whether it's the surroundings or the alcohol. Usually the best option is meeting someone through a mutual interest (job or hobby), a mutual friend, or even online dating services. Just be sure you choose a site that is safe, does not reveal your personal contact information, and has some members that look and sound like the type of people you may want to spend time with. Most of them have free trial periods.

3. After you do meet someone that you have decided you may want to spend a little time with, do your homework! Yes, I mean background checks, criminal records, etc. This is very easy to do on the internet. It may sound a bit "paranoid," but there are a lot of people out there, men and women, that are great con artists. Even if you met this person through a good friend, it is still a good idea to find out all the information you can.

4. Set up a place to meet. It is not a good idea to get "locked in" by going in the same car on the first date. If it's not going well, you can simply leave, if you ride in separate cars. Meet in a public, safe place and get to know each other. This should not feel like a job interview, but you should ask some questions. Do they have children? What do they do for a living? You need to know what their lifestyle is like, so you can determine if it might possibly fit into yours.

5. Take your time! This is so important. People's true colors usually don't show for quite some time, especially if they are infatuated and want to really impress you. If they try to rush you, to see you every night, stand your ground politely. When you feel like you are "falling" for someone, you tend to want to see and talk to them every second of the day. This is normal. You need to resist that. Keep some time and space for yourself. If they step back because you are not moving fast enough, then you know you have chosen the wrong person.

Tips & Warnings

• Stick to your own set of "rules." If you sincerely don't want to be with someone who has children, or who smokes or drinks, don't loosen those rules just because you find him or her appealing. Down the road, that "honeymoon" phase will wear off. You will have to deal with all of that reality.

• Keep an open mind when it comes to appearance. You may surprise yourself and find out that the real attraction comes from what is inside a person.

• Watch for "red flags," especially on the first few dates: Does he/she talk a lot about an "ex"? Are they talking about themselves, and not asking any questions about you? Are they being pretentious, talking about how much money or possessions they have? Are they having trouble looking you in the eye? Do they call or email too much after the first few dates?