How to Say the Right Things at the Right Time at Work

Did you know that what comes out of your mouth reflects what's in your heart? It has been estimated that on a weekly basis, the average person speaks more than 200,000 words-enough to fill a 500 page book! Words are powerful and extremely concentrated! When spoken in too large quantities. They can affect emotions and attitudes. They germinate readily when spoken; therefore, you must learn to bite your tongue and be careful about what and how you say things. It's not always right to speak out and express whatever pops into your mind. This article explains what to do to tame your tongue at work.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Refuse to participate in, listen to, or tolerate negative things including backbiting and gossip that is said about another person. If you tell people you will not participate, they will stop including you in these types of conversations. So, speak up!

2. Watch your tone and attitude. Encourage and boost the self-esteem of those you talk to by allowing words of praise and encouragement to come out of your mouth. The tone and attitude behind your words can work miracles or do far greater damage than the words themselves.

3. Think positively. Look on the bright side of things. Develop a positive mental attitude about people. Believe it or not, this will brighten your personality and bring you contentment.

4. Practice being patient. I know this is hard to do sometimes, but when you're waiting for a new assignment or help on an existing one, find something productive to think about or do like reading and responding to your emails, or planning the rest of your day.

5. Learn to cope instead of blurting out your displeasure. A common definition of insanity is doing the things you've always done, yet expecting the result to be different. We live in an imperfect world, yet we continue to expect it to somehow be perfect. Stop wasting precious time and energy! Instead, consider even the smallest annoyance a challenge to overcome. Just think of the sweet sense of accomplishment you'll receive once you've succeeded in tackling it.

6. Stop whining and complaining. Whining and complaining are energy-draining. Liberal doses of this highly toxic stuff leads to bitterness and ultimately poor health. Avoid complaining about things or people you can't control. Think of solutions and strategies to handle the things you can control without complaining.

7. Respond graciously to criticism. Give yourself a few moments to think about your response before you charge in mouth-first. Re-word your statement to be more effective. Make your point graciously and in a professional and convincing manner.

8. When you've put your foot in your mouth and blurted out a tactless or tasteless remark, apologize as swiftly and sincerely as possible and simply say the words you wish you had said.

9. Practice makes perfect. Train yourself to think and act differently. Prepare ahead of time by practicing what you will say in various situations. When you know you are about to engage in a confrontation that will test your temper, write out what you will say and practice it out loud before you meet with the other person.

10. Forgive yourself as well as others. When you blow it, don't panic. Forgive yourself first, and then make amends to the other person as well. Every person needs forgiveness and needs to forgive. The first
    response when hurt is usually a reactive one of resentment, revenge and avoidance. Forgiveness allows you to be proactive and to put all the hurt and injustice of the past behind you once and for all.

Tips & Warnings

• The tongue is the main vessel used to speak. It accomplishes this by spewing out sounds and words. Although a small part of the body, it controls and affects the direction of our lives. Most of the time it does a lot of good; but sometimes it gets us into huge trouble, and controlling it is a lifelong process.
• Remember that words are the main product of the tongue. They have great healing power and are life-giving substances. Words can wound or kill. With our words, we can hurt ourselves as well as our relationships with others.
• Use the resources below to tame your tongue.

Resources

• Career Resources
• Enhance Your Work Relationships
• Answers to Your Questions about Job & Career

[Desula]

on 6/28/2008 Thanks for this information - I try to be supportive of my team, and sometimes it is very difficult to keep my mouth shut instead of say the wrong thing.

[luv2blog]

on 6/28/2008 5 Stars!

[jarethamarie]

on 6/27/2008 These are really thoughtful tips, and I liked your additions of images. Everyone should be able to learn from this article and use your suggestions in every situation, not just at work!

[2besure]

on 6/27/2008 Yes, your words create your reality, well stated.

[vikki9]

on 6/26/2008 What a shift this would cause if only 10% of a work force used it! Powerful article! *****