How to Improve Communication in a Marriage

When good communication isn't achieved in a marriage, it can lead to arguments and even divorce. Here's how to recapture and improve communication in a marriage in order to maintain a good relationship over time.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Think before you speak. Too many times when we are used to being with someone in a marriage, we blurt out answers before really thinking about them. Be sure to say what you mean, but don't take forever to think of responses.

2. Listen to what your spouse is saying without interrupting. This especially comes into play during arguments and strong emotional discussions. This respect for the other person improves the communicating atmosphere, allowing your spouse to express thoughts more freely.

3. Watch your tone. Using an intimidating or condescending tone of voice will hinder the lines of communications instead of improving them. Being honest is always good, but this can be done without putting the other person on the defensive. Speak your piece without disturbing the peace.

4. Set aside time to "just talk." Having a scheduled time to communicate or talk is a good way to find out how your spouse is doing and to practice your skills. Practicing this on a consistent basis is key to improving over time. You may also have topics of discussion if you would like to raise.

5. Watch your body language. The majority of what is communicated from person to person is not interpreted through words, but body language. Your spouse will often pay attention to your body language in order to cross reference the validity of what you are saying, so be sure that what you are saying, how you are saying it, and how you are displaying it, all match.

6. Write a letter or note. One of the best things about using a letter is that what you write is what they will read. You may use a letter or note if you want to express something without being interrupted, or in times when you want to get all your ideas down and discuss them later.

7. Concentrate on positive resolution. In other words, don't leave a session of communication on bad terms if at all possible. This will take an honest commitment from both sides if it is truly to work, but the rewards are worth it in the end if achieved.

8. Consider going to counseling. Before you throw in the towel, consider that counseling is used for more than negative situations. It can be a great reinforcement to an already smooth-sailing marriage. Having a mediator or professional at times is helpful in order to see things that may be overlooked, or for advice about other venues and exercises to improve communication in a marriage.