How to Cure Masochism

Masochism is a difficult and emotionally draining psychological position that doesn't allow sufferers to identify with positive or nourishing experiences. Masochists (whether they be sexual, emotional or psychological) sometimes find it very difficult to live happy and fulfilling lives due to the stress of their attachment to pain. Following are some steps to help you cure masochism, whether it be in yourself, a client, or a loved one to promote positive living so that healing can begin.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Learn about the nature of masochism through researching the various forms. Know that there are three different categories of masochism -- sexual, emotional, and physical -- and that each has an unhealthy attraction to pain.

2. Understand that some masochists are happy with their masochistic tendencies (more common with sexual masochists) and do not desire to be cured. Realize that a cure can only be offered to those who consider themselves ready for help.

3. Try to learn as much about the roots of the masochistic tendencies as possible. Take a full familial and mental health history and try to identify the reasoning behind the masochist's self defeating patterns (many times, although not always, there will be a history of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse that began a pervasive pattern of pain seeking in subsequent relationships).

4. Integrate positive messages about what the person deserves emotionally and psychologically. Many times masochists believe that they are deserving of punishment and thus seek it out in various avenues. Try utilizing journaling techniques to isolate cognitive distortions such as "I deserve pain" or "I deserve to be punished" as these are typically present in most masochistic personalities.

5. Help to assimilate positive behavior modification exercises. Many masochists find that they will indulge in reckless behavior because they often won't value their own physical, emotional, or sexual well being. Teaching the importance of self respect and care and the positive feelings that come along with proper self care is crucial in helping to cure the masochists of self defeating behaviors.

6. Introduce the masochist into positive relationships (this is especially important for those who are prone to masochistic tendencies with partners or in relationship settings). Ensure that the person understands the value of mutual respect. Reframe their current painful orientation toward interaction into one that values honest, integrity, and nurturing.

Tips & Warnings

• Cognitive behavioral therapy is very helpful in starting to restructure behavior and thought patterns associated with masochism.
• Medication should be used with caution with masochists as suicide attempts and overdose are common. However, if severe depression or anxiety is present, then a course of prescription medicine intervention may be necessary.
• Look for signs of co-occurring disorders such as dissociative disorders, depression, eating disorders, or anti-social tendencies to accompany masochism and treat them accordingly.
• Beware of transference relationships among masochists and the tendency to cast the helper in the role of sadist.

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[pcflpshn49]

on 10/21/2009 This is in response to "yanalunzz." Fantasy in and of itself is not harmful and can even be a relief valve of sorts when moderation is exercised. The concern with fantasy is that the seeds of consciousness which occur as your mind "wanders" are as potent as any other thought. From a holistic perspective, as you think, so are you. So, the content of your fantasy can outpicture into your waking/non-fantasy life in subtle ways. For example, fantasy with a theme of masochism may outpicture for you in your life by causing you to be a psychological masochist in your relationships, work situations, etc., making success harder. The other concern with fantasies of masochism is that if you're fantasizing about it, you're probably feeling a void somewhere and you're trying to fill it with the fruits of the fantasy. But it doesn't really fill anything - it may even frustrate you in ways yo...

[yanalunzz]

on 10/19/2009 hm.. is it unhealthy if i always have fantasy as masochist?

[yanalunzz]

on 10/19/2009 hm.. is it unhealthy if i always have fantasy as masochist?

[suikoden26]

on 9/26/2009
I want to find a way to help women like the one saw today. Just from the breif time I saw her buying something from my shop and interacting with her sadist partner...it was very distressing. I could tell how hurt she was, a shell of a person with no confidence. I don't know what to do, but I have to help. I wish I could've helped her, but I guess most masochists don't realise they're ill...

Thanks for writing this article.

[suikoden26]

on 9/26/2009 I saw the most horrific thing in my shop today...An obviously sadomasochistic lesbian couple. The masochist woman seemed terrified and shaky and was being spoken down to by the other. She had marks on her neck that were either bites are a chain mark. I should've said something. I'm so upset.

I'm a lesbian and it is a mistake to compare homosexuality with sadomasochism. Homosexuality does not have to involve pain and unhealthy relationships. Sadomasochism is obviously about pain and suffering, mainly for the masochist. I think most women are brought up to suffer from masochism to some extent, and men are brought up to be sadists.

I want to find a way to help women like the one saw today. Just from the breif time I saw her buying something from my shop and interacting with her sadist partner...it was very distressing. I could tell how hurt she was, a shell of a person w...