How to Be Like Tony Soprano

The fictional character Tony Soprano lives life on the edge. As a mob boss, he sets the rules that everyone else follows and escapes the law, romantic entanglements and the like without being any worse for wear. While an individual may not be the head of a crime family, there are ways to be like Tony Soprano and still live peaceably in this work-a-day world.

Instructions

1. Love all animals. Tony Soprano shows his softer side by taking care of his ducks and getting violent retribution for the death of a racehorse. Tony just plain loves all creatures that are not of the opposable thumb variety.

2. Distrust everyone who works for you and with you. Being a Mob boss does have its drawbacks and a big one is the lack of trust between members of the Cosa Nostra. However, this is a requirement of the job, if you want to stay long in the profession.

3. Be an introspective person. Not only does Tony Soprano attend therapy but he also ruminates on the meaning of life after his uncle shot him and he had a near death experience. You should only use this introspection when it benefits you and not when it could benefit others if you want to be like Tony Soprano.

4. Keep large amounts of cash and guns at the ready. Some other drawbacks to employment in the mafia are the distrust of banks, the fear of the IRS, the need for lots of readily available cash, and ever present guns for protection from your many enemies. On the plus side, you do have massive amounts of cash to hide around your house or in your mother's retirement center if need be.

5. Support your wife only when it benefits you. Tony Soprano allowed his wife to build her own spec house but wielded this house over their marriage like a weapon. Therefore, if you want to be like Tony Soprano, support your loved ones but keep them in line.