How to Deal with Typical Teenage Behavior

As your child passes through his teenage years, his body, mind and emotions undergo rapid changes and, as a result, he may exhibit typical teenage behavior that confuses or frustrates you. Knowing what to expect and how to respond puts you back in the driver's seat when your teen acts out.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Identify and rate the impact of the crises your teen will experience. Only as we mature do we begin to see a rational side to stressful events. Help your child put his daily problems into perspective so he can make the most of the situation.
2. Listen to your teen every day. Make it a point to ask direct questions that need more than a grunt and a nod of the head as an answer. Teens often become preoccupied with the stress of daily life but they need to feel your support. Pay attention to what they say and train yourself to react calmly.
3. Answer your teen's questions about growing up and the physical changes he will encounter. When parents ignore their child's sexuality, he may seek out peers to discuss the issues. By keeping the lines of communication open, you will give your child the option of coming to you first for advice.
4. Choose your battles wisely. Save the intense discussions for things that really matter. If you constantly make a stand on the things that aren't important, you close the doors of communication and your teen will shut you out for fear of your reaction. Hanging out with older friends who are consistently in trouble is a big deal; leaving one's socks in balls when laundering isn't.
5. Attend your teen's functions, even if he asks you not to. Sports, plays and debate tournaments all take hard work and dedication. Unless your teen is adamant that you not attend, show up and, optimally, videotape his performance so he can see it later. Many teens want their parents to attend but they would rather eat soap than admit it. As a plus, they will remember your support in their adult years.
6. Take a deep breath and remember that this too, shall pass. There will be times when you think you can't bear one minute more of your moody, withdrawn teen. By remembering that life won't always be this way, you allow yourself to view the situation from a fresh angle.
7. Enjoy the moments, rare as they may be, when your teen is happy and sociable. At these times, he's reaching out and you have the opportunity to show him that you'll always be in his corner.

Tips & Warnings

• Establish non-negotiable guidelines for behavior before your child is a teen. Insist on respect for all family members and property.