How to Party Like Tara Reid

When it is party time for Tara Reid, nothing gets in the way. If you want to party like Tara Reid, say goodbye to sleep, sobriety, and restraint. Assume that partying is more important than breathing. With a little hard work, blood, sweat and beers, you can party like Tara Reid too. If you're lucky these lessons can guide you to the front pages of every major tabloid displayed at a supermarket checkout stand. Millions of grocery store customers will see your bloodshot eyes with a nasty headline on the cover of famous magazines like "National Enquirer" and "Star." Instead of observing Tara Reid's party lifestyle, start living it on the front lines.

Things You'll Need

• Entourage
• Alcohol
• Designated driver

Instructions

1. Star in a major movie like "American Pie" or "Van Wilder." This is your ticket to the best nightclubs in every major city around the world. In addition, a hit movie gets you a free membership into the Hollywood party club, with many famous members such as Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Tommy Lee and Lindsay Lohan.

2. Time your designer dress to have a wardrobe malfunction on the red carpet. Nothing says party girl more than the revealing of your botched boob job in front of hundreds of flashing cameras on the largest outdoor world stage.

3. Show the paparazzi how intoxicated you are by rolling your eyes in the back of your head when leaving a nightclub. For a more dramatic effect, hang your tongue out of your mouth in a lazily matter.

4. Get wasted and nearly fall into a gutter while wearing a mink and a pair of Ugg boots. You can substitute the mink and Uggs for a faux-fur coat while carrying a Louis Vuitton handbag.

5. Stumble like Tara Reid rather than walk gracefully like Nicole Kidman into nightclubs like the Villa Lounge and the Mahiki Club in Los Angeles, California. In other words, party like Tara Reid before the main party.

6. Dance on tabletops with an alcoholic drink in hand. Don't be afraid of what the media says about you. If Tara Reid does not care, neither should you.

7. Play by Tara Reid's party rules. Party hard but do not miss work or show up to work drunk. Get drunk, but don't drive.

8. Celebrate New Year's Eve by making several numerical errors while counting down to the New Year. If you are able to countdown from 10 without error, keep drinking because you are not drunk enough.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't party like Tara Reid while pregnant because of the risk of birth defects. Alcohol can cause other health problems.