How to Help Children Cope With Divorce

Divorce is a hard thing for anyone to go through. Children may have a particularly hard time dealing with the divorce of their parents and the changes that result from it. During these hard times, it’s important to be understanding and supportive of children and help them along as best as you can.

Things You'll Need

• Understanding
• Patience
• Ability to compromise
• To be supportive of your children and their feelings

Instructions

How to Help Children Cope With Divorce

1. Explain to your children that the divorce is not their fault. Let them know that it is not a problem they can fix. Some children blame themselves for their parents getting divorced but you have to let them know that it was a decision made between the adults and a decision you thought was best.

2. Let your children know that they are still loved by both parents. Just because a marriage doesn’t work doesn’t mean that parenting still can’t work. Do not talk negatively about your ex-spouse, particularly when your children are present. This can make children feel hurt and uncomfortable to hear one parent talk bad about the other parent.

3. Don’t argue or fight in front of your children. This can have a damaging mental and emotional effect on them. Be respectful to one another and try not to let your negative feelings for each other spill over while your children are present. Treat each other as amicably as you can for the sake of the children.

4. Never put your children in the middle of your problems or try to buy their affections. Some parents try to compete as to who is the better parent and they often hurt the child even more in the process. Many children do not want to choose between their parents because they love them both. Please don’t ask your child to lie on the other parent for any reason.

5. Honor all custodial arrangements. If a judge has granted joint custody or visitation rights, abide by the courts ruling even if you don’t completely agree with the terms. It’s hard for children to be split between homes so try to make the transition for them as easy as possible. As long as the reason for the divorce wasn’t due to abuse or the child being harmed or endangered, you should not try to keep children from seeing their other parent.

6. Seek professional help for your child if necessary. Divorce can effect people in different ways. If your child needs someone else to talk to, look into a child psychologist who specializes in helping children deal with divorce. Pay attention to any changes in your child’s behavior that may be a sign of depression, anger problems, or other difficulties that they may experience as a result of the divorce.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk to your children and let them know what to expect as a result of the divorce. Explain things to them and let them know how their lives and possibly living arrangements will be affected.

• Listen to your children’s concerns and opinions about the divorce. Provide your children with support and try to ensure hat still have a sense of stability despite the changes that are occurring.