How to Decide Whether to Date or Not

Making the decision to start dating after a divorce or break up can be tough. When you were younger, it was easy. Your parents made the decision for you. But when you have to decide for yourself if you're ready to jump back into the dating pool, it gets a little more difficult. Here are some ideas on how to know if you're ready.

Instructions

Are You Ready To Date?

1. Ask yourself what you've learned from your past experience. What have you learned about yourself? What you have learned about what you want and what you don't want will help you to move forward into a new relationship.

2. Determine if you have forgiven. If you are holding on to past resentments, you're probably not ready to move forward. If you have not forgiven yourself or your former mate, you need to work on that. If you don't, you will be bringing all that unhealthy baggage into any new relationship you may have.

3. Ask yourself if you've given yourself time to heal. Anytime a serious relationship comes to an end, it's devastating. It doesn't matter whose decision it was to end it, it's hard on both parties. The hurt needs to heal before you can move on.

4. Consider whom your dating will affect. If you have children, dating someone new will certainly affect them in some way. They may not like it. It shouldn't be enough to stop you if you feel you are ready, but you should take their feelings and concerns into consideration.

5. Determine if the idea of dating again frightens you or excites you. If you're scared at the thought of dating again, give yourself more time. If the thought of meeting someone new excites you, then go ahead and dip your toe into that dating pool. If you decide you weren't ready after all, you can always pull back.

Tips & Warnings

• If you start to date and realize that you weren't ready, give yourself more time.

• Spending time by yourself after a divorce or break up to "find yourself" is important. After being a couple for so long, it's important to take some time to evaluate who you are now that you are single. You have probably changed some since you last dated.

• Trust your instincts when dating someone new. If something doesn't feel right to you, go with that feeling.