How to Retain Your Maiden Name After Marriage

Upon marriage, taking your husband’s surname as your own is a tradition, not the law.

Things You'll Need

• Resolve, determination and a good sense of humor and individuality

Instructions

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

1. Don’t fret: It’s legal, and no ones business, if you choose to keep your maiden name after marriage. It might be viewed as an unorthodox choice but unorthodox does not mean bad or wrong or illegal.

2. Don’t do anything. There aren’t any official forms that have to be filled out, declaring your intentions regarding your name. You don’t have to appear before a tribunal explaining your reasons and/or asking permission or special dispensation. You merely continue doing as you’ve always done, calling yourself by your maiden name. It is your name to do with as you please.

3. Be consistent: Don’t equivocate between Susie Q and Susie Jones and Susie Q-Jones. That can create problems and confusion.

4. Ignore snide comments: If people suggest that you’re emasculating your husband by keeping your name, just laugh. Your love for, and commitment to, your husband is in no way reflected in your choice of names even though some people will feel compelled to tell you otherwise. You don’t owe anyone any explanations unless you want to explain. That’s up to you. Or you could argue, just for argument’s sake, that many women who have assumed their husband’s surnames see their marriages fail. The woman’s last name has virtually no bearing on the success or failure of the union.

5. Blow off doomsdayers. Some people will suggest that it will be confusing for your children if you have a different surname from them; however, these very same people can’t come up with a snappy retort when one points out that, if the mother were to remarry and took her new husband’s name, her last name would be different from her children’s. What’s the difference? The difference, of course, is that it’s socially acceptable to have a different name from your children if your last name is derived from a man, from a re-marriage.

6. Vigilantism is not required. Quiet consistency is the key. Stay the course. Sticking to your guns does not require you to be a noisy, modern day vigilante. Calm resolve can be equally as effective. Allow yourself to laugh over the fact that people get bent out of shape over the strangest things, issues that apparently, yet inexplicably, threaten them or make them uncomfortable but ultimately don’t have a thing to do with them.

Tips & Warnings

• Contact your local probate court or an attorney for further information on name changes and maintaining your maiden name after marriage.