How to Argue Peacefully

An office setting is usually cramped, tiresome and depressing in many ways. Working 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. five days a week until age 65 is no exciting excursion. So it's no wonder so many disagreements erupt in the workplace. Plus every employee in one way or another is working for their own advancement. Pride, animosity and distrust, although often disguised, run rampant in the average office environment.The key to staying out of office squabbles, not being trampled upon and standing by your argument lies in relaxation and confidence.

Things You'll Need

• Clear mind
• A few seconds to think

Instructions

Keep your cool when thrown into an argument at work

1. Arguments pop up in random places at work. You could spat about a proposal in the break room or have an all-out argument in a staff meeting. The first step you need to take before jumping into an argument, picking a side or saying anything at all, especially if tempers are heated, is understanding the topic clearly. Most arguments are the result of poor communication. If you don't know why a co-worker is upset or disagrees with your point, you will not be able to confidently proceed in a discussion. Make sure you know what you are talking about before opening your mouth. If you're clueless, ask your co-worker to clarify. Sometimes this step will resolve the conflict almost immediately.

2. Now that you know why you're in an argument, decide your opinion immediately. Don't waffle. Make the right choice the first time. If you are a bad judge of what's right or wrong or you simply realize throughout the discussion that you should concede, do so. Don't let pride prolong an unnecessary argument.

3. In the argument, speak calmly. Never raise your voice, even if your co-worker speaks loudly or shouts.

4. Body language is important as well. Don't smack your hands on the desk in frustration or pace. Sit or stand firmly, making eye contact. The occasional hand gesture is OK, but don't let frustration move you.

5. Know when to stop. Even if you don't reach a decision/apology/concession, when the argument is over, let it go.

How to calmly introduce an argument

1. If you have an opinion that differs from a co-worker's, approach the co-worker calmly and create a discussion. Don't start by pointing out the negatives of your co-worker's argument. Just discuss your concerns and then propose your argument as an alternative.

2. The result of Step 1 depends entirely upon your co-worker. If he or she takes your opinion into consideration or a calm discussion ensues, great. If egos flair or pride intervenes, establishing calm tones is essential. Just as before, never raise your voice and don't demean your co-worker or his opinion. Negative attitudes will only dig a deeper divide.

3. Just as you expect your co-worker to listen to your argument, listen to his and take it into consideration. Although working with a group of people can be difficult, it also creates more opportunity. Establishing a status quo with your peers in which you are able to propose ideas and offer critiques is the ideal work environment. But the key is calmness, confidence and understanding.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't run to your boss to complain about a co-worker simply because there was a disagreement or your co-worker behaved unprofessionally, letting pride get in the way. The whole point of arguing calmly is to create a successful work environment and help you succeed. Tattle tells rarely succeed.