How to Deal With a Crisis With Dysfunctional Family Members

Today I write this article as information for you and as preparation for myself. It's been said that the best way to really become skilled in something you have learned, is to teach it to someone else. I have a major family life event coming up within the next few days and I must be prepared mentally for the challenge. As you know we can't always predict when a crisis will occur, but sometimes we can spot some signs along the way. For example sometimes we are given some type of notice when a family member is going to have surgery or receive serious hospital treatment. This article is written with the thought in mind that you are able to prepare for a crisis of this magnitude.

In either of these scenarios chances are you will be in an intense situation with others in your family. And if there is drama in your family then most likely someone in your family who has hurt you will be present and accounted for. Here are some tips on how to deal with a crisis with dysfunctional family members present, yet be the support you need to be for your loved one in need.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Bible
• Salvation(see link for info)
• A Strong Desire to do What is Right
• Love in it's Most Unselfish Form

1. GET A REVALATION OF LOVE- I Corinthians 13:1-13 describes love in it's truest form.
   
   Verses 4 and 5 say; "(4) Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
   
   (5) does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

2. LOVE DOES NOT ENVEY- Never make decisions out of jealousy of envy these decisions will ultimately hurt the ones you love.

3. LOVE IS NOT SELFISH- Remember your focus is on the person receiving treatment, not your own personal needs or the others around you. For example; I know of a family with a dysfunctional family member, who caused so much ruckus in a hospital when her grandchild was about to receive serious surgery, that the surgery was postponed until she could get her own personal needs met. This is not love!

4. KEEP SOME POSITIVE DISTRACTIONS AROUND- You may have to wait things out together, bring along some other things to focus on besides the family drama. For example load your iPod with your favorite songs, or better yet a positive message you can listen to during stressful times. Hospitals sometimes have courtesy computers family's can use. How about updating your friends on the status of your loved one through a blog. Many hospitals now have a program called carepages just for this.

5. TAKE A BREAK FROM THE DRAMA- If things begin to heat up get out of the kitchen, explore the cafeteria or the nice air outside. You could even check out the gift shop and buy a present.

6. BE THE BIGGER PERSON- Just because you now have a revelation of what love is, doesn't mean everybody else does. Sometimes you will just have to choose not to be offended by the comments of dysfunctional family members.

7. THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS- The bible says if there is any thing of good report to think on these things. You may have to visualize birds, butterflies and beautiful skies, but do it. Remove yourself mentally from the situation, until you are able to see your family member after surgery.

8. GET PRAYED UP- Before the hospital visit, during and after. Keep your bible handy for references.

9. KEEP THE CONVERSATION FOCUSED ON YOUR LOVED ONE- This may be your only common ground, especially for the dysfunctional family member. Talk of funny and happy times regarding your loved one who is receiving treatment.

Tips & Warnings

• This will not be easy to endure, but continue in love and continue thinking of the love one you are there to support.

[mymukki]

on 9/4/2009 not easy but everyone needs this at one time or other or always!

[solidlady09]

on 8/4/2009 great article 5 stars