How to Date Someone With Depression
A relationship with a depressive is hard work. The best advice anyone can have is to avoid it if possible. It is a roller coaster ride where every high will almost always correspond with a low, and it can be especially trying on you, the supportive partner. If you do want to proceed to date someone with depression, here are a few steps you can take to weather the inevitable storms.
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Instructions
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Get to know your partner. Understanding your partner’s moods is the biggest challenge. As a non-depressive, you will often not understand your depressive partner. What’s worse is that no amount of study will prepare you. The depressive will always be enigmatic, but you need to be able to anticipate him or her.
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Study about depression. Remember, depression is an illness, and one that is not easily, or possibly ever, cured. Often times it can be controlled with medication, but that is a decision you and your partner will need to make together. Learn about the illness and what causes it. Show your support by taking an interest in your partner's affliction.
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Be supportive. This is probably the most important part of being in a relationship with a depressive. There will often be times when you do not understand or when you will experience frustration beyond explanation. Do not attack your depressive partner, as this only heightens the anxiety of his or her condition. You are liable and allowed to have the occasional breakdown when things get too difficult, but try to steady your emotions with your partner.
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Look at your partner’s medications. If your partner takes medication to control his or her depression, learn about it. Learn its uses and its side effects. Your biggest ally when it comes to being a supportive partner is knowledge.
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Understand the things that trigger depression in your partner and avoid them. Obviously, the two of you cannot lock yourselves in a vacuum and avoid all external stimuli, but you can often take steps to minimize exposure to things that irritate your partner.
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Find things that make your partner happy. Pulling your partner out of a depressive spell will not always be possible, but there are cues in his or her life that can make it easier.
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Comments
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Roberto Gonzalez
Feb 14, 2011
I agree with the three posts above. I'm a depressive too. Only by triggers. I dated this chick who is a depressive also. And hell, by the end of the evening I was really depressed, and dating is one of those things that helps me fight against isolation and side-effects. And I love dating. They (we) shouldn't be avoid. but dating with this kind people need diferent care. Of course, IF YOU CARE about the person. That's the key. ;) -
kieru
Nov 15, 2010
I actually don't know what to say. As a sufferer of depression it makes me sick to think that we're too much hard work: better off avoided. I'm sorry, shall we just hide away from society, in case we make things difficult? A depressive is just as entitled to a relationship as any other, as is anyone with any other physical or mental disability. I came on this site looking for tips to help my partner, not to face discrimination like this. I hope no depressive has the misfortune to encounter the writer (before they get chucked, obviously). In the future please only allow factual and non-discriminatory tips, thank you.
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whateverzzz
Oct 03, 2009
To write that dating someone with depression should be avoided is descriminating and should not be seen on a website that is looked to for factual information. People are now starting to understand that depression is a handicap and this only makes this site seem behind the times and ill informed.
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whateverzzz
Oct 03, 2009
This is the dumbest article on the topic possible. whoever wrote this is a big moron with a small heart. "I suggest avoiding it [dating a depressive]." Depressed people have a disability. They do not have the plague. You may as well write an article telling people to avoid dating someone who is handicapped becuase they may be great people but lugging around that wheelchair is a pain in the bum.
