How to Spot Emotional Abuse

Abuse is a cruel act where the person in control belittles another person by forcibly dominating and restraining feelings and thoughts, imposing threats, utterance of insulting language and bitter railings (vituperation), intimidation, manipulation, isolation and guilt. In the case of emotional abuse, the person is usually coerced verbally accompanied with unceasing criticism, rejection, and browbeating. Compared to physical abuse, the impact of emotional abuse is way more damaging, and its effects on the feelings of the victim last longer. Continuous cowing of the abuser weakens and eventually breaks the victim's spirit. All courage will be lost and confidence fades along with the sense of self-worth. The victim will be so battered emotionally that his mental state is no longer capable of seeing the reality of the situation and he blames himself for everything. Victims do not usually show that they are being abused and never talk about the ongoing emotional torture because of embarrassment and fear. It is difficult to determine abuse in most cases but here are some helpful signs to identify the existence of emotional abuse.

Instructions

Signs of an Emotionally Abused Child

1. 

   Overly shy, very obedient, and submissive to others.

2. Too receptive in any given impressions or influences particularly on negative ones

3. Lacks self-confidence and has low self-esteem

4. Constantly saying negative statements about oneself

5. Appears to be depressed and anxious at all times

6. Avoids playing or doing activities with other children; prefers to be in isolation.

7. Shows unstable burst of crying, aggressiveness, rage, and demonstrates cruelty to animals and other children.

8. Exhibits self-destructing behavior -- punches, bites or cuts self.

9. Finds it difficult to make friends and is overly clingy to people he is close to

10. Experiences nightmares from time to time and soils his bed

11. Behaves either younger than his age or way older than his age (exhibits a very adult-like behavior)

12. Existence of physical, psychological and emotional delays

Signs of an Emotionally Abused Teen

1. 

   Lacks energy and exhibits extreme boredom on any given type of activities at home or in school.

2. Easily gets distracted, thinking is slow, and concentration is decreased, which leads to low grades

3. Low self-esteem and always thinks bad or low about oneself

4. Exhibits abasement behavior by blaming oneself about any negative events of his life

5. Shows excessive depression to any type of rejection and lacks motivation in trying to correct that failure.

6. Feels desperate and hopeless about life and neglects his personal looks and hygiene.

7. Demonstrates sadness by isolating oneself, constantly crying, and getting into arts like music and poetry containing negative themes (such as death and hatred)

8. Displays bitterness and lacks connection among others, whether it be friends or family

9. Overly secretive and has difficulty in expressing ones feelings, believing that nobody ever listens to him.

10. Constantly complains about being sick, having headaches, stomach pains, dizziness and the need to throw up.

11. Existence of inappropriate hysterical outrage and destructive behavior towards other people; may also be destructive of his surroundings and acts out, setting fires, engaging in vandalism and animal cruelty.

12. Shows unstable patterns of sleep -- is unable to sleep at night, has difficulty in waking up for school, and sleeps during day time.

13. Finds comfort in drugs and alcohol leading to excessive addiction

14. Exhibits abnormal eating patterns such as eating and throwing up (bulimia), extreme decrease in weight due to loss of appetite (anorexia), extreme weight gain due to excessive eating (obesity)

15. Highly pessimistic about life and shows it by being suicidal and self-destructive -- cutting ones skin, pulling of hair, and beating oneself until body is black and blue.

16. Runs away from home and joins clubs or gangs that are into committing crime and violence

Signs of an Emotionally Abused Wife/Woman

1. 

   Avoids being with friends and family; prefers to be in complete isolation.

2. Possesses low self-confidence and degrades oneself in almost all aspects of her life

3. Shows signs of extreme sadness, frequent crying, and excessive depression

4. Constantly complains about different physical illnesses such as headache, abdominal pain, back pain, and dizziness.

5. Displays a blank stare most of the time and easily gets distracted

6. Demonstrates abasement behavior by blaming herself for the abuse

7. Increase drug and alcohol intake leading to addiction

8. Alienates herself from the real world and seeks comfort in chat rooms (Internet)

9. Lacks interest in socialization and avoids eye contact when talking to someone.

10. Displays compulsive behavior, phobias, unceasing nervousness and discomfort.

11. Overly compliant or passive and is receptive to any form of degradation

12. Exhibits abnormal sleeping and eating patterns

13. Talks about how she hates her life and wanting to end it

14. Avoids talking about her spouse or any topics concerning the relationship

Tips & Warnings

• If you suspect someone is being abused, do your best to listen and support her in any way you can. Allow that person to trust you and make her feel that you are there to help.

• Report any case of child abuse to your nearest police or child welfare agency.

• Provide information about support services in the area that can be of help to her situation.