How to Survive a Problem College Roommate

To survive the experience of living with a problem college roommate you need patience and compromise. The college roommate relationship is like a marriage—one minute you’re the best of friends and the next you can’t stand to be near each other. If the situation becomes intolerable and cannot be worked out, you can opt to switch roomies or move somewhere else. Here are some tips on dealing with the drama of living with a problem college roommate as well as strategies to avoid it in the first place.

Instructions

How to Survive a Problem College Roommate

1. Be honest when providing information regarding your roommate preference application. If you smoke, indicate this on the application. If you’re a self-admitted slob, admit it. Just like on-line dating, pretending to be someone you’re not only means you’ll have to face the truth in the not so distant future.

2. Do not room with your best friend from high school. It may seem like a perfect match, but you’ll both make new friends and move in different directions which can lead to tears, hurtful words and the possibility of never speaking again. To value the relationship, choose to live in separate dorms and reconnect throughout the day.

3. Get to know your roommate before you move in. Start with a friendly email introduction and then talk on the phone. Remember the phone? Before classes start, invite her for coffee at a local cafe. Use the opportunity to get to know her likes and dislikes. You can learn a lot about someone over a venti skim latte.

4. Be patient. You don’t have to agree with you roommate’s lifestyle choices, but give him the same level of respect you’d like in return. If your roommate comes from a different cultural or religious background, try to set aside your biases and get to know him as a person.

5. Remember to always communicate. Let your roommate know your class, study and work schedule to avoid conflict. Work out the day(s) it’s okay to have overnight guests and don’t assume having a boyfriend over four nights a week is okay. If he uses your bed as a dumping ground for dirty socks, speak up immediately. If she blasts the TV at all hours, ask her to wear headphones or work out a viewing schedule. Your roommate isn’t a psychic. If you don’t tell her what’s bothering you, she won’t know to fix it.

6. Deal with roommate conflicts as soon as they arise. Use “I” statements to tell her how you feel. Be an active listener. If you can’t resolve it on your own, seek out help through the resident director. If the problem becomes so severe that you feel your well being is threatened, seek immediate help from the dorm staff.

Tips & Warnings

• Never allow a roommate to use illegal drug in your shared living space.