How to make REAL friends

In the real world, friends do not come so easily as they do on television, they are not quite as loyal, and you had better not point out the person you like because the next day one of those “friends” will be dating them. So how does a person get real friends? Here are some things that have worked in finding real friends.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. PICK YOUR FRIENDS: I am reminded of a line in a movie I saw once. A father was sending his son off to boarding school and he said to him, “You pick your friends, don’t let your friends pick you.” That stuck with me. I have found that so true in life that the people that I met and liked, I worked to socialize with were the ones that I have had for years and who have always been there for me. The best place to start making real friends is with you and knowing whom you are, what you like and what type of personality best suits you. So if you like nature walks, baseball and the beach find people who love such activities. If you see some cute guy in all black with black nails and mascara who stays home a lot playing video games, smoking pot and only goes outside to skateboard over to his friend that lives the same way, it would not be a good idea to befriend him because he looks cool or you think he’s attractive. That is unless you desire to be just like him. People make friends tend to conform and become like them or resent the poor choice in a person that has no desire to be involved in the life you love. Now there are exceptions to every rule so proceed with discernment and wisdom.
2. LISTEN TO PEOPLE: To make a friend you have to be a friend. Listening to people is a great way to make friends. Don’t you like people more when they listen to you and are concerned about what you have to say? Active listening is important. When your friends speak, do not
   listen passively with an occasional yeah and uh huh, as you wait for them to inhale so you can tell them about how your life and experience is related to what they just said, and then take over the conversation.
3. SHARE YOUR FEELINGS: Share your feelings with people. Now this "riend lure" is a great one, but takes wisdom and caution. I have a girlfriend who I work with who I share a love of shopping and dining with. She also has a gift of gab. She knows everyone and his or her business. If you want to find something out, she is the go to person. Having said that, I am reminded of something my aunt told me years ago, “A dog that brings you a bone will carry one back”. So if you happen to know some lovely people like that, my suggestion is if you don’t want what you say to be told to the world, this is the person you keep your personal business from and who you don’t tell secrets to. People, however not prone to gossip and who you know to be wise and discrete, are great people to share your feelings with and gain insite and also life-time friendships that go deep in the heart. Remember, every friend doesn't have to be your best friend.
4. BE LOYAL: Loyalty is so hard to find in friends so it is important if you want loyal friends you must be loyal. If you are with a group of friends and someone starts speaking of a friend of yours negatively, a loyal friend does not join in on the negative talk and may even discourage it with the words, “now that’s not nice; I remember “so and so helping you with this that and the other.” Well you know what I mean. Point out your friends positive qualities.
5. DON'T EXPECT PERFECTION: It is important not to expect perfection from our friends. They will make mistakes, not always be able to be there for us and even get irritated with our behavior from time to time. Forgiveness is definitely needed in making and keeping friends.
   
   I hope I have helped all of you wonderful readers to identify who makes a good friend, that you must be a good friend to attract good friends and the importance of give and take in any relationship.
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