How to Break Up After Getting Back Together

For many of us, even though we may know our romantic relationship is unhealthy, uninteresting or just plain not fun anymore, it can sometimes be really difficult to end it. Even after you end it, it’s often hard to make that decision stick. Some long-term relationships take two or three tries just to make the break-up final. If you are having difficulty with a clean break on your relationship, read these simple steps, and good luck!

Instructions

1. Take notes. While having an emotional connection with someone is valuable, emotions can sometimes get in the way when you have made up your mind to end a relationship. You talk, you cry, you try to explain why—but somehow you can’t get your points across very well. Before you meet with your significant other, sit down and organize your thoughts. Write them down and bring them with you to reference when you have that conversation with your partner. This will help you focus and remember why you are there.

2. Communicate. When you break up with someone after getting back together, the best way to do it is in person. If you try to break up via phone, email or letter, your partner may not take you seriously and may try to continue the relationship. Set aside a time and place to have the break-up discussion, and make sure that you will have uninterrupted privacy and your partner's undivided attention.

3. Be honest. Many people try to continue a relationship for the wrong reasons. Sometimes there simply isn’t honesty within the relationship, and one therefore cannot really see the truth. You must be honest with your partner and with yourself to ensure a finalized break-up. If you explain the real reasons you are breaking up—as hard as it may be—your partner will be more likely to accept your decision and let the relationship go.

4. Move on. Once you have broken up with your partner, you need to try to move on so that you two do not get drawn back into familiar habits and patterns. Remove pictures of your partner and throw them away. Get rid of or store souvenirs and other items that may remind you of your ex. Take the time that you used to spend together and spend it on yourself, with friends or with family.

5. Separate yourself. If you attempt to rekindle the relationship but deep down you know that it is the wrong decision, you may have to take more drastic steps to keep the break-up finalized. Remove your former partner’s phone number from your cell phone or change your number if necessary. If your ex has your key and won’t return it, change the locks on your doors to ensure your privacy. Give yourself some physical space from shared hang-out places and try your best to move on.

Tips & Warnings

• Sometimes relationship help requires professional counseling. Seek help if you are in an abusive relationship.