How to Maintain Visitation Rights While Living Out-of-State

It's difficult enough to maintain visitation rights when you and the custodial parent live in the same town, but when you live in a different state than your children, problems with maintaining visitation are multiplied. For the sake of your children, you have to make every effort to keep contact with them and maintain your relationship on a regular basis. Following are some suggestions for maintaining a relationship and having visitation while living out-of-state.

Things You'll Need

  • Transportation
  • Court Order
  • Ability to relate positively with custodial parent
  • Computer Internet access
  • Cell phone
  • Paper, envelopes, pen, stamps
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Instructions

  1. Maintaining Visitation Rights While Living Out-of-State

    • 1

      Keep a copy of your court order for visitation. With so many people moving to other states, laws have been adjusted to meet the needs of parents who live in a different state than their children. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) enforces the custody agreement drawn up in the state in which the children lived at the time of the divorce. No matter what local regulations are, the agreement must be followed until a different one is approved by that court.

    • 2

      Provide reliable transportation to visit your children in another state or to transport them to your home. Planes, buses, trains and cars are all possible modes of transportation. Which mode of transportation you use depends on the age of the children, distance, requirements of the court and the wishes of the custodial parent.

    • 3

      Get along with the custodial parent. Even if you don't enjoy a good relationship with the custodial parent, try to maintain a workable relationship. When communicating with them, be positive about the children's accomplishments, well-being, and the custodial parent's role in this. Offer assistance in any way you can for the physical and emotional health of your children. Do what you have to in order to make their lives better.

    • 4

      Maintain contact outside of visits with your children by email, regular telephone visits and writing letters to them. Regular contact like this helps your children feel they can rely on you and makes visits better.

    • 5

      Be available. Nothing is more important to your children than you being available for them. Accept all phone calls from your children. Keep your cell phone with you so they can contact you whenever they want. Learn to text message and read their text messages. Progress in communication over the past few years makes maintaining a regular visitation schedule easier no matter where you are.

Tips & Warnings

  • Don't hesitate to go back to court if you feel your court order needs to be revised.

  • Be the adult in your relationship with your children.

  • Never bad mouth the custodial parent in the presence of your children.

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Comments

View all 7 Comments
  • campbelllee Oct 23, 2009
    How is it that a dead beat, proven drug addict ("let go" from the FDNY for cocaine abuse) who spends weekends in jail for not paying child suppport not only awared with lowed child support ($130 per week for 3 children) but also them awarded visitation? Where is the justice?
  • budeful Oct 17, 2009
    Is it possible for an 'out of State' father to proxy his visitation to relatives in the same city/State as the child?
  • Catwhitehead Sep 17, 2008
    You need to talk to an attorney. If you can't afford one, talk to legal aid or call the Friend of the Court office in the state your child lives in to find out what the laws of that state are and what you need to do. In the meantime, do you talk to your son? Would he receive your letters or e-mails if you wrote to him? Do what you can to have a long distance relationship with him until you're able to spend time together again.
  • Catwhitehead Sep 17, 2008
    You need to talk to an attorney. If you can't afford one, talk to legal aid or call the Friend of the Court office in the state your child lives in to find out what the laws of that state are and what you need to do. In the meantime, do you talk to your son? Would he receive your letters or e-mails if you wrote to him? Do what you can to have a long distance relationship with him until you're able to spend time together again.

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