How to Live With a Depressed Boyfriend

Does this sound familiar? You get home and your boyfriend is on the same spot on the sofa where you left him earlier that morning. It's been his spot for a couple of weeks. He spends more time asleep, then awake, and communicating with him is almost impossible.Your boyfriend is depressed, and it affects everything he does from his eating and sleeping habits to his energy and immune system. Dealing with him is going to take a great deal of patience and understanding.

Instructions

1. Educate yourself about the disease. Most people assume they know about the disease, but it's usually a knowledge based on popular misconceptions. The first step would be to learn the facts. Learning the facts would not only help you to get a better understanding of your boyfriend, but it also shows that you care enough to take the time.

2. Understand that depression is a real illness. If your boyfriend broke his arm, you'd be understanding and patient while he recovers. You certainly wouldn't suggest "snapping out of it." Depression is not something he can simply "get over."

3. At the same time, don't suppress your feelings. Maybe instead of saying, "You are pissing me off,” you could try, "I understand you were down, but I feel frustrated and angry because... "

4. Don’t try to rescue or make excuses for him. This is also known as enabling the person, which will ultimately do your boyfriend more harm than good. Covering up for his actions will not help him. Recovery is ultimately in his hands.

5. Listen non-judgmentally to him, and encourage him to discuss his feelings with you. You will get great insights into his childhood and what actions might be triggering depression. You will also be able to pick up on the warning signs of suicide, if his thoughts are going that way.

6. Encourage him to get treatment. This would probably be the most difficult part of the process because depression by its very nature makes it very difficult for those suffering to seek help. Maybe start by suggesting he goes for a general checkup, instead of suggesting a mental health professional right off the bat. This is a good idea because there could be an actual physical reason for his depression, and if not, hearing that he needs help from a medical professional could make it easier for him to accept.

7. Understand that it's a disease you have no control over, so step back. When you need it seek support from family and friends and a therapist if needed. Remember, you're going to have to take care of yourself first, before you can help anybody else.

Tips & Warnings

• If you believe your love one could commit suicide, stay with him and dial 911 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.