How to Avoid Hurting the Children in a Divorce

That nasty "D" word has finally reared its ugly head and changed the dynamic of your household. You have to figure out how to lessen the impact of your divorce on your kids. Learn how to avoid hurting children in a divorce with these steps.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Don't Bash

1. Refrain from bashing your ex spouse to friends and family members in front of the kids. That "loser" you keep ranting about is the father your kids love--and when you say nasty things about him, your children are the ones you hurt.
2. Keep children out of conflict. Kids will be dealing with enough drama during your divorce so they shouldn’t have to bear the burden of delivering hateful messages, or refereeing arguments between their parents.
3. Keep children’s routines as familiar as possible. There are a lot of things that will be beyond your control during a divorce but to maintain a sense of normalcy and security for your kids, mealtimes, bedtimes, and household rules should remain the same.
4. Maintain an amiable relationship with the other parent. Your children will have an easier time adjusting to the divorce if your interactions with your ex spouse are kept cordial and free of conflict.
5. Don’t make children take sides. A sure way to hurt your children during a divorce is to make them choose between the two people that they love the most.
6. Don’t disclose all the nasty details of your divorce. Telling your children that you’re leaving their father because you caught him in bed with the next door neighbor is more information than they need. Talk about trauma--this tidbit of information is enough to scar your kids for life.
7. Find ways to manage your stress. If you’re a wreck, you won’t have the ability to help your children cope with the influx of emotions that they feel. That's why it’s important to maintain your physical and mental health by doing things such as exercising, eating right, and obtaining support from loved ones, counselors or church affiliations.