How to Help Kids with Separation Anxiety
Most kids will experience separation anxiety to one degree or another. It may be when you leave them with a babysitter, or when you take them to school. But the problem might be so severe as to crop up when you need to go upstairs or leave the room. Whatever the degree of your child's anxiety, here are a few steps to follow to help him understand you will be right back.
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Instructions
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Separate the Anxiety from the Bad Habit
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1
Think back to the time when this problem started, jotting down on paper any significant moments that brought on your child's anxiety.
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With your spouse or someone else who is close to the situation, make a list of all the things that have ever caused your child to get upset over the prospect of you leaving. Focus on the most current examples.
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3
Discuss how you have prepared the child for the times in which you have to leave, and how you can prepare them for such times that will arise in the future.
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Plan to do better. Then follow through, adding as many of the following ideas to your own as needed.
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When you know you have to leave, even if it is to go to the bathroom, talk about it well in advance, so that there are no surprises.
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6
Take it step by step. Practice going out of the room and then coming right back. Then tell the child you are going to leave the room again; this time, take longer to return. Do it again, remaining gone a little longer every time. Make sure to offer the child a hug and a "Good job" every time you come back.
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For long periods of separation (school, work, church classes, dates etc.), give the child something that she will associate with you. For instance, if you are wearing a necklace or a watch she always sees on you, take it off and ask her to hold onto it for you until you come back to get it.
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When a babysitter is coming over, don't get caught up in yourself. Plan ahead to get you child settled into a routine, movie or playtime before you leave.
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Plan to have the babysitter show up 15 minutes early, so that she can blend into the home situation. Give her a role to play at playtime; then step away or inform the child that you are leaving.
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Keep out of the way. Make sure you do not "rescue" the child every time he starts to cry -- even at bedtime, and especially when he is still a baby. You want him to learn to calm himself down, not rely on his mommy/daddy crutch.
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Perhaps, as in potty training, you can set up an "I did it" chart, which you affix with a sticker or star (or color in a square) everytime the child does well without you. When she reaches a preset goal, she gets a predetermined reward (a movie, an ice cream, a toy, etc.).
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Above all, congratulate the child and shower him with love, no matter how small his victories.
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