How to Deal With a Child's Suicide

Few things can be as heartbreaking to a family as losing a child. When the reason for that child's death is due to suicide, it compounds the feelings of devastation. It doesn't matter whether the child in question is a teenager or an adult. The sense of loss is profound and it takes much time and effort to learn how to survive such a crippling event.

Things You'll Need

• Time
• Counseling
• Support
• Go through the normal stages of grief

Instructions

The Difficult Process of Healing After a Child's Suicide

1. Ask for help. One of the most difficult things to go through, after a loved ones suicide, is having to plan the wake, funeral and burial arrangements. Never try to handle this on your own. Enlist the assistance of other family members and your minister, priest or rabbi to do things, such as accompanying you to places such as the mortuary and helping you write the obituary so that you will not have to bear the emotional burden by yourself.

2. Allow yourself to go through the normal grieving process. Don't let others try to rush you into "getting better" on their time table. They may be well-intentioned, but they have no business attempting to dictate how long your healing process should take. You will probably need to take some time off from work in order to begin processing your feelings.

3. Get counseling, either individually or with the rest of the surviving household. You need to be able to face your emotions and talk about your feelings of anger, grief and guilt. Bottling things up can result in physical problems and extreme depression. Ask your counselor if any prescription medications can be prescribed to help you cope with problems of depression.

4. Join a support group for parents who have lost children to suicide. No one understands better what kind of pain you are going through more than those who have experienced it themselves. Just being able to express yourself to people who have walked in your shoes can be cathartic.

5. Stop the "blame game." Many parents, siblings and other close family members either want to blame themselves or others for a loved ones suicide, as if it were their fault that this individual committed suicide. Even when you love someone, however, you are not necessarily responsible for the choices they make. Learning to face the fact that your child is the one solely responsible for making the decision to end his life is not an easy thing to do, but it is a big step towards moving forward in the healing process.

6. Avoid "self-medicating" behaviors, such as using alcohol or illegal drugs to aid you in coping with your emotions. This doesn't truly help you to deal with your grief and can lead to additional problems, such as addiction.

7. Realize that it is going to be a long time before you see a "light at the end of the tunnel." While, realistically, you will never be able to "get over" the suicide of your child, you will eventually learn to adjust, if you are patient and continue to seek the appropriate resources for help and support.