How to Help a Depressed Spouse

When your spouse is depressed, it can be very draining and sometimes devastating. You may feel that your spouse will never recover or that your spouse could pull himself out if the depression if he really wanted to.It's important to understand what depression is and find ways to support your spouse, as well as to take some time for yourself so that you don't get burned out or depressed yourself.

Things You'll Need

• Patience
• Love
• Doctor and/or Counselor
• Trusted Friend

Instructions

Recognizing Depression

1. Learn the symptoms of depression. Some of the symptoms include persistent sadness, loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed, excessive tiredness, eating or sleeping too little or too much, trouble concentrating, irritability, hopelessness, and thoughts of suicide.

2. Seek help: If you suspect your spouse is suffering from depression, encourage your spouse to seek the help of a doctor, psychologist, or a pastor or other religious leader. Counseling and/or medication are crucial in overcoming depression.

3. Understand that your spouse is not doing this to hurt you and they cannot just 'get over it.' It is a medical condition that may require treatment.

4. Take good care of yourself - make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and relying on other family and friends for emotional support. Depression in one spouse affects the other and can lead to depression in both spouses. Make sure to treat yourself with care to avoid this.

5. Be loving and reach out to your spouse. Encourage your spouse, help your spouse, and try to be understanding if they are not able to fulfill all of their household obligations for a time. Remember that this period of depression won't last forever, so cut your spouse some slack and be as compassionate as you can!

6. Encourage your partner: Be patient but don't let all of your spouse's negative behaviors go unchecked. Your spouse may want to spend all his or her time alone - this isn't healthy. Try to encourage your spouse to spend time with others and encourage him (without nagging) to fulfill obligations.

7. Love your spouse unconditionally. Help your spouse to understand that you are there for him and care deeply.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that you are not alone. Supporting a depressed spouse can be draining so talk to a trusted friend, a religious leader, or seek a counselor for yourself if you feel that you need support.

• Also remember that depression doesn't last forever. It eventually lets up.

• Don't add to your spouse's depression by blaming him for the depression or by making him feel guilty for being depressed. Remember that it is a medical condition.

• Seek the help of a professional as soon as possible. You can support your spouse, but you certainly can't cure your spouse.

Resources

• When a Loved One is Depressed