How to Choose a Singles Group
If you're single, and try to meet your mate in a bar, what do you really have in common, that you drink? That's not a great foundation on which to build a relationship. If you are looking for a genuine companion, a far better way is to join a singles group.
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Instructions
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Understand what makes a person attractive. In the last few years, there's been a plethora of matchmaking services on line. In many respects, they are an extension of the personal ads that still proliferate in alternative weeky newspapers. Yet, singles primarily respond to each other through visual then auditory cues. Is a person physically attractive? Is the voice enticing? Love at first sight is not a myth. We next notice how a person interacts with others. Does your potential companion treat others with respect and kindness? Is he or she poised and confident without being arrogant? If we want to be with this person, the best way to answer that question is to see how he or she responds to activities in which we normally engage. Choosing the right singles group consists in finding a club where common interests or orientations are shared.
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Religious groups are popular because the participants share a common set of values. I've talked to many who have met their mates through Jewish or Christian singles organizations. In Muslim households, the whole dating process traditionally has more parental involvement, but there are few Muslim meet ups out there.
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The most productive method for finding partner if you are single, seems to be through joining a group where you share a common recreational activity. There are numerous choices. The Sierra Club has two major singles divisions, 20-30's singles, and Sierra Singles, appealing to an older crowd. I was Commodore of the Marina del Rey Single Sailing Club where I met my own long time companion. We have shared years of sailing, swimming, and hiking.
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Some groups are not overtly singles organizations, but attract a lot of singles. You can get a sense about the organizations through the kind of activities it hosts. As one example, MUSE is a membership organization of the Los Angeles Museum of Modern Art that arranges numerous events including an annual Halloween Costume Ball. Many ski clubs cater primarily to singles.
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Another option is to find a group that shares both your political ideology and age that is not a singles group per se. This strategy works best if you are college age, joining a group like the Young Republicans. Working on the Barak Obama Presidential campaign strikes me as fertile area to meet somebody since the senator primarily appeals to a young, vibrant demographic.
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Favor a non-profit group over one that's a money making endeavor. As an active single, I considered joining a group called Athletic Singles of Marina del Rey. The membership fee was steep, but when I asked about it I was told that the bar was set high to keep out the riff raff. I later found out the founder's only job was running the group, and he cast a wide net for an attractive young coordinator to sell the group to other singles. Be prepared to volunteer if you join a singles group. It's the best way to keep it going and your help will be greatly appreciated. I got a call this morning from husband and wife tennis players trying to entice me to compete in the Santa Monica Tennis Club's tournament this weekend. They met playing doubles together. Finally, by tackling projects in the club with your potential partner, you'll learn how he or she can handle a project, respond to deadline pressure and otherwise deliver the goods, essential qualities to asses before you commit yourself to a realtionship with another person.
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