How to Create Intimate Relationships

Having intimate relationships is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. Closeness to another can be extremely healing and satisfying. But developing intimacy is not easy. It takes work.Creating intimate relationships with another depends on your personal capacity for authenticity, truth and compassion. Read the steps below for some ways to create strong, grounded intimate relationships.

Instructions

Creating Intimate Relationships

1. Intimacy starts with you. So be honest with yourself. Know your drives, motivations and desires. Be responsible for your habits or any personal difficulties you are experiencing. Figure out what you want within a relationship to another.This will build a strong inner foundation for intimacy with another. Most importantly, honor yourself first, before joining with another. Acknowledge that you have a lot to give in a relationship.

2. Ask for what you want. Speak up about your needs and desires within the relationship. Most importantly, when communicating your needs to another, take total responsibility for yourself. Don't assume that the other person will grant all of your desires. In fact, it is up to you, not the other person, to receive what you need and want.For instance, instead of saying "I want YOU to..." say "I want..." Then the other person has the option of saying whether or not they can provide what you need, rather than feeling expected to.

3. During conversation, give plenty of room for the other person to express him or herself. If they say something exciting to you, wait for them to finish what they are saying. Don't cut them off. If you want true intimacy, you must allow the other person to express themselves fully. And in turn, you will create space for yourself to do the same.Also, when you don't understand something that is said, ask for clarification. Communicate with compassion.

4. Share yourself authentically. In other words, tell the truth. Express your feelings. At the same time, take responsibility for how you feel and don't blame the other person.

5. Often, deep intimacy between people will bring up old wounds for healing. At moments of hurt or fear choose to see it as an opportunity to heal and watch the intimacy grow.

6. Drama happens when you are resisting feeling or seeing something that is true. Intimate relationships can be breeding grounds for all sorts of drama. So, take your space if you feel like starting some drama. Time alone can help you to get clear on things that you were blind to when in the face of another. And it will save you the time and energy of drama.

7. Receive and give authentically. This seems easy, but it is not always so. Don't give to someone because you want them to like you, or because you think it will help you get somewhere. Give because you simply want to give. Same goes for receiving. Accept what feels good to you. Don't keep receiving gifts, energy, time, from someone if it doesn't feel good. When you do something out of integrity, it sets up the energy of deception. Be true to yourself, and you will act in truth when with another.